www.offmymedsagain-ev

Milwauke Empire Falls Show

2011-09-06T21:16:00.001-07:00

The Greyhound passed a field of these wind turbines for over 10 minutes. Very Surreal!

Harold, nor Kumar, were not at this particular White Castle. But as it was across the street from Indianapolis Greyhound, it was cheaper than Greyhound food while I waited for the Cincinnati connection.

I love icehouse-type bars with sawdust on the floor. Why sawdust? Puke. Simply due to puke!

Wrong Kind Of Rebel

2011-08-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

Outsourcing Malfeasance

2011-07-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

Didn't think this one out too well eh?‏

From:	bob righteous (bobrighteousisright@gmail.com)
	This message may be a phishing scam. Learn more
Sent:	Thu 1/07/10 12:53 AM
To:	tookiejones99@hotmail.com

Guess what *does* show up in a google search? Do you teach children? Is this Troy?
sweet teen(prev). фото beth1993bb
- [ Translate this page ]
Yeah, I like her. email tookiejones99@hotmail.com. larsons_x (2009-05-17 16:37: 44): p4p? wahnsinnig@gmx.li. mercury9359 (2009-05-24 11:46:59): ...
imgsrc.ru/beth1993bb/10110980.html -
FKK teen naturist preview of my last albums. фото leibniz
- [ Translate this page ]
tookiej (2009-04-01 06:50:37): May i have pass? tookiejones99@hotmail.com. beth1993bb (2009-05-06 09:07:22): p4p?? please beth1993bb@yahoo.com ...
imgsrc.ru/leibniz/12910335.html -

Show more results from imgsrc.ru
Nudists Pageants Festivals 117 | Nudism Life home photos pictures ...

Oct 24, 2009 ... closer she's younger than her hips and "Privates" make her look. I should look at their faces!!!!email me tookiejones99@hotmail.com. ...
- Cached -

idn't think this one out too well eh? Kitty, Kitty, Kitty getting too curious‏

From:	Tookie Jones (tookiejones99@hotmail.com)
Sent:	Mon 2/15/10 8:26 AM
To:	bobrighteousisright@gmail.com

This is one of two or three "throw-away" email accounts established for the purpose of "419 Scambaiting"-aka a deliberate and systematic process of harassing and/or wasting the time of Nigerian "Spanish Prisoner", or Advance-Fee fraud eMail fraud artists. While it seldom results in the actual arrest and prosecution of these overseas criminals, it is by no means merelys and idol "online hobby", it does serve the useful purpose of diverting their attention away from gullible, naive potential victims. This account was established expressly for the purpose of serving as, to co-opt a hacker term, a "Trojan Horse" for the Nigerian's Russian "phishing" counterparts.

I had always been intrigued regarding the intentions of those seeking access to my primary Hotmail account, the one associated with my Craigslist, Facebook and YouTube account so I created this one in order to feign gullibility when "adviced" to verify my intention to keep the account active in the face of "anonymous registry of multiple accounts", among which mine was scheduled to be deleted.

As expected, this account was barely a week old when "Hotmail/Live Customer Care" "adviced" me to verify my password to "avoid it closed".

in the days before email, computers or electricity for that matter, one method of rendering an eavesdropper's comeuppance was to burn their ears with false information, such as the location of hidden valuables following which one could revel in covertly watching the miscreant spend his day with a shovel attempting to unearth the fictitious booty.

In my case the eavesdropper's online counterpart soon found himself engaged in double mulligan of sorts, fruitlessly communicating with a counterfeit bank scammer who had contacted me through my original "master account". I simply forwarded the "Welcome to 'Wachovia' Online" correspondence to this phished account and my eavesdropper was instantly intrigued. From there, I was able to facilitate an "autopilot" scambait which required little more effort on my part to simply open a beer and assume the role of the eavesdropper, privy to the aforementioned mutually fruitless attempts on the parts off the Nigerian and the Russian to rob me.

Regarding my Craigslist account, my postings under "Services Offered>Lessons and Tutoring>guitar, bass guitar and piano" have been the frequent Target of the Counterfeit Cashier's Check/Overpayment scam. This happens to many sellers and service providers. In my case, I'm always skeptical when somebody in the former USSR or UK wants to send their "Child" to the U.S. for guitar lessons and to North Charleston for that matter rather than major conservatory metropoli such as New York/Julliard L.A. or smaller music-intensive towns like Nashville, Austin or Mussel Schoals, Alabama.

From there the logic is negligable at best. The child is always set to be traveling in the care and custody of a mysterious "nanny", or "au Paire" with whom "the student" 's father has contracted.

The scam is thus. The "Father"'s personal assistant has inevitably made the mistake of issuing only one check for the total funds to be remmited to both the nanny and to the music instructor and I am advised to deposit the cashier's check into my account and, once my available balance reflects the deposit, I am "adviced" to forward the "au pair's" remittance via Western Union. The scammer is relying on the music instructor's misconception ithat if I include a physical address under the Recipiant identifiers, only that party my claim the funds. In reality, only the Money Trasfer Control Number (M.T.C.N.) is required for the scam artist to pick up the "nanny's" money, by the time my bank would have detected the fraudulent status of the cashier's check, the money wired through Westtern Union has been released through the M.T.C.N.

I take this sort of attempted fraud more personally because unlike the mass/bulk nature of Nigerian scams, Cashier's check scams specifically target me through responses to my guitar/bass-lessons-offered postings on Craigs list. I used to delete them, but it dawned on me one day that that was too good for them and have endeavored to waste as much of their time as possible. They spend so much time talking about how to handle the "funds" on the check and have never bothered to research the "playing field" of their scam, that that is where I keep redirecting their attention. I make them work to be able to be conversent in things musical. What brand of guitar is your child learning on?, Is it an acoustic or electric? does s/he have a metronome?....I keep them talking about music and musical equipment as they frustratedly attempt to revert the subject to the wire transfer details.

Regarding the questionable nature of any forums to which Boris and Ivan have registered my phished account following the Barclay's Bank Fiasco of 2009, That indeed may be something I didn't think through,and while I haven't been contacted directly by any Soviet pederests, YES! I DO teach kids, albeit a teenage male predominance and as a result any further attempts to link me to child pornography will be considered an act of aggression.

Since I know you would never intentionally presume to link me to such lowlife. I consider the matter dropped."

Please enjoy this pathetic Nigerian's failed guitar lessons scam

Date: Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:33:15 -0800
From: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Subject: ===== lesson for my son
To: zarathustra10@hotmail.com

Good day to you over there, my son was born 12th APRIL 1996, i
got your advert on the internet so i want my
child to be taught by you.chinton is 14 year old and easily catch up,easy
going his neat boy and gentle and intelligent,he loves education and
atlethics. Although,i understand you are in US but i've arranged with
my Nanny associate that my son is coming to stay with him for the period
of the tutoring and he has agreed with me he will be in you nearest
location to take good care of my son for the period of the tutor...pls
i will want you to get back to me with requirement information below
as i will like to finalize the basic arrangement before my son and the
Nanny arrive to your location for the lesson.

1.YOUR CHARGE
2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR THE TUTOR
3.FULL NAME AND ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE
4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Don't hesitate to e-mail with your total charges.

Thanks
esson stilll available?

So I get this detailed, well-worded reply to my craigslist ad 5 weeks ago and knew, right away I might add, that something was amiss. Oh, because it was some 3-rd World knuckledragging halfwit trying to ply me with a fake check scam

Naturally, the opportunity to waste these fake-cashier's-check scammers is too good to pass up, so I pretended yet again to be fooled and replied with a warm and welcome attitude.

Good day to you over there, my son was born 12th APRIL 1996, i
got your advert on the internet so i want my
child to be taught by you.chinton is 14 year old and easily catch up,easy
going his neat boy and gentle and intelligent,he loves education and
atlethics. Although,i understand you are in US but i've arranged with
my Nanny associate that my son is coming to stay with him for the period
of the tutoring and he has agreed with me he will be in you nearest
location to take good care of my son for the period of the tutor...pls
i will want you to get back to me with requirement information below
as i will like to finalize the basic arrangement before my son and the
Nanny arrive to your location for the lesson.
1.YOUR CHARGE
2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR THE TUTOR
3.FULL NAME AND ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE
4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Don't hesitate to e-mail with your total charges.
Thanks

From: Path John (pathjohn43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Wed 1/13/10 2:50 AM
@hotmail.com) HE EXTENDS HIS YULETIDE GREETINGS HERE!
hello
am very sorry for the late payment due to small accident i have........so am back home from the hospital and by the grace of god you will receive the payment on friday..........i will be very greatfull if my appology is favourably considered looking forward to hear from you and merry xmas and happy new year to you over there......

of Course, the check "For guitar lessons" arrives for way more than discussed with this explanation:

of Course, the check "For guitar lessons" arrives for way more than discussed with this explanation:

Hello,
you shall received the payment today here is the UPS tracking number
of the package
1Z9R67V40198416772

As soon as you received the payment you proceed down to your bank and
cash or made deposit of the check, as soon as the money is available
you will deduct the total money for the lesson
The remaining money you will go to a nearby western union money
transfer location and send it to the nanny who will bring my son for the lesson

On getting to any of the Western Union Money Transfer outlet to make
the transfer, they shall ask for a transfer charge this you will
deduct from the Funds you will be sending and send the Funds with the
information below:-

Here is the nanny information read everything done well to avoid mistake...

Receivers Name :.Denise Henderson
Address........141 south state street
City.......... Randolph
State........ NJ
Zip Code......... 07869

And so I begin with the Western Union reverse-scam MTCN Secure game

of Course, the check "For guitar lessons" arrives for way more than discussed with this explanation:

Hello,
you shall received the payment today here is the UPS tracking number
of the package
1Z9R67V40198416772

As soon as you received the payment you proceed down to your bank and
cash or made deposit of the check, as soon as the money is available
you will deduct the total money for the lesson
The remaining money you will go to a nearby western union money
transfer location and send it to the nanny who will bring my son for the lesson

On getting to any of the Western Union Money Transfer outlet to make
the transfer, they shall ask for a transfer charge this you will
deduct from the Funds you will be sending and send the Funds with the
information below:-

Here is the nanny information read everything done well to avoid mistake...

Receivers Name :.Denise Henderson
Address........141 south state street
City.......... Randolph
State........ NJ
Zip Code......... 07869

To submit the payment with Western Union Money Transfer, follow
this steps: -

1. Visit a Western Union Agency Location's
2. Complete the "To Send Money" form
3. Identify yourself
4. Present payment
5. Collect the receipt from the clerk
: As soon as you have transferred the money, you will send me the
details which you use in transferring the money so as to enable him
get the money and I shall call you as soon as the money is been picked
up to let you know that everything is fine and okay. You will send me
these Western Union Money Transfer Transferr details which you use to
transfer the money :-
1. Sender's Name : .....?
2. Sender's Address : .....?
3. Receiver's Name : Denise Henderson
4. MTCN ( Money Transfer Control Number ) 10 Digits : ..... ?
5. Amount Transfered { After Western Union Fees/charges } : .....?
6. YOU CAN SCAN THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT/TRANSFER SLIP AND EMAIL
IT TO ME OKAY.

Thankse?

Youre Welcomeb

hello am very glad to read from you what am saying is that you must send it to my nanny today because you are the that is delaying them so that they can arrive immediately you send the money to them and i will let you know that am in califonia for my bussiness cuz am a business man and my son and the nanny is in Randolph NJ and is my nanny that call me and said he is waiting for the money you want to send for the arrival of my son get back to me asap......

Hello ,I don't really get what you saying on the Phone..Please it's getting late and want you to go ahead and have the money sent today

Current Server Time: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:51:39 -0500

The Mugu did very well, clicking all the little, ti-nitsey itsy. witsy boxes for several hours.

Start Time / Time of latest Refresh: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:47:05 -0500
Time of last Box click: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:20:10 -0500
Total Correct boxes clicked: 40
Total Refreshes: 13
Completed the Process?: no

and at last writes

Hello,thanks for the info you pass on to me but there is a problem on here cos the Nanny said she having alot of problem getting through all this and also there is no western union outlet at his area,so i will like you to go back and have the money you sent then proceed to Money Gram and have the money send there..You can deduct $50 for gas and have the rest send to her..I will be looking forward to hear back from you..Thanks

Path John

So, it's off to MoneyGram....

February 7th, 2010, 07:34 AM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

IMPORTANT THE MTCN NUMBER IS DIFFICULT FOR MY NANNY TO FIND...‏
From: Path John (pathjohn43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sun 2/07/10 12:13 PM
To: ********************0@hotmail.com)
Hello i was informed now from my nanny due to the information of the MTCN SECURE you send to me that i forward to my nanny and my nanny told me that is very difficult to him to find the MTCN number pls kindly write out the MTCN NUMBER to me 10 DIGIT for him to cash the money today so that they can arrive on monday .

February 7th, 2010, 07:37 AM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

IMPORTANT THE MTCN NUMBER IS DIFFICULT FOR MY NANNY TO FIND...‏
From: Path John (pathjohn43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sun 2/07/10 12:13 PM
To: *********************@hotmail.com)

Hello i was informed now from my nanny due to the information of the MTCN SECURE you send to me that i forward to my nanny and my nanny told me that is very difficult to him to find the MTCN number pls kindly write out the MTCN NUMBER to me 10 DIGIT for him to cash the money today so that they can arrive on monday .

February 7th, 2010, 07:39 AM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

I've got the studio all set up for your son's lesson. I think instead of wiring the money, I'll just pay the nanny her fees tomorrow when the lesson starts.

Hello
Am very glad For your Honest But i want you to know that i have book my son Ticket now so the arriver day is Wensday And The nanny Need to Buy some thing Before my son arrivel to State that is why i want you to Help me Arrenge the MTCN Number Very well and send it to me so He can Quickly Go and Pick the money up in western union...... i hope you understand me Troy? please Kindly get me back with the MTCN Number Now am online waiting to hear From you.... please i Don't want any Delay For my Son

February 7th, 2010, 07:57 AM

Ben

Baiter Extraordinaire

Join Date: Nov 2006

Posts: 1,185

Museum Photos: (2)

a form idea to draw up for these?... multi daft question sort of thing
...
What is his level at the moment
Is John left or right handed
Which style of music is he interested in playing
Electric / Acoustic / Clockwork...other
etc..

February 7th, 2010, 09:03 AM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

Yeah, exactly. Thanks for reading it. I'm in the middle of one now.

I love to steer them away from talking about the money transfer and make them feign an interest in music, music equipment, and children's academics-all things a real parent would be very willing to discuss with a music teacher.

It's like when a junkie is trying to score money for a fix and you make them explain just how it is, one more time, that his wife and kids are stranded up the road and he needs gas money, but not a lift back to his family...sweat pouring out of his forehead and picking at his scabs.

February 7th, 2010, 01:12 PM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

The Mugu is very upset.

hello am very glad to read from you but you dissapointed me by calling me scam the reason i said that you should pls send the MTCN NUMBER to me is that my nanny can't find it the way you said before and am using this oppotunity to tell you that my check is not a fake and i will le you know that am a man like you and i understand you because there is a lot of scam online that is why you said mu nanny should find the mtcn like that am waiting for your reply thanks...

I just verified that your check is real.

My piano student Leotard Hogarth is going now to send the $2,725 to Denise Henderson

#10

February 8th, 2010, 02:40 AM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

They're so hard on Western Union scams here, you have to gaze at this autostereogram and see the M.T.C.N. in your cross-eyed vision. Just be sure you don't stare too long, or you'll need to be shoved into an MRI and have your feet bled.

Hello
Well you Really sound great to me But i want you to know that you suppose to Follow my Instruction Cos i have told you that The Nanny have to buy some thing before the arriver of my son that is why i want you to Quickly Send the money to him so he can make Every thing fast so there would not be any Delay for the arriver of my son.... Once again i want you to be honest with me, i guess you told me that you are sending your student to wire the money to the nanny... Once again i want you to kindly go to Western union and get the western union and i want you to Deduct any amount western union charge you out of the money and send the rest back to the nanny..... Please and Please Mr Troy i want you to get the money Send now so the nanny can pick it up As soon as possible.....Please i don't want delay for the arriver of my son i want him to start the lesson immediately he arrive to State ok?
Sincerely john

#11

February 8th, 2010, 03:01 AM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

Date: Sun, 7 Feb 2010 23:08:09 -0800
From: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Lessons begin Monday, 8 February.
To: ************@hotmail.com

hello how are you today i will like to tell you that my son will arrive with my nanny on wednesday...

Well, that's funny, because from the looks of things, your nanny can't handle a simple Western Union Wire-Transfer-pickup, yet you would trust her with the care and feeding of a human child? I wouldn't leave her alone with a Shih Tzu. Even a housebroken Shiz Tzu. That incompetent hag is having trouble getting her money. I think you should send her a money order so she can travel with your kid to my city for these guitar lessons, and I'll just send your money back Western Union.

Better yet, just let me keep the whole check and I'll clear out the room I've been using for storage. My last touring band had a giant dragon and a massive satanic pentagram onstage, but if you explain to your son that it was just heavy metal theatrics, I'm sure he'll understand that I don't really worship the devil. I'm really one of Jehovah's Witnesses, like the Jackson 5 brothers, but who wants to go see a band play dressed in nice suits and normal male haircuts?

What kind of food does your son like? Is he used to 3 large meals or more like 6 smaller meals, like a weightlifter? I'll get a used TV from the pawnshop, there's already a coaxial cable I won't even block the porn, he'll love that. At his age, I used to masturbate till the cows came home.,because I grew up on a working bovine farm that also made dirty movies. I've taken care of kids before and taught them the value of hard work.

#12

February 8th, 2010, 08:01 AM

Ben

Baiter Extraordinaire

Join Date: Nov 2006

Posts: 1,185

Museum Photos: (2)

You spent his $ in a casino ..and guess what

#13

February 8th, 2010, 02:32 PM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

I should have thought of that this time. Thank you, I'll do that next time.

In the meantime, my Mugu from this teaching scam/fake check can't take the hint, and "The nanny is still trying to collect her fund".

Hello,
Am very confuse about you what you said.... i have already made all arrangement with the nanny just for you to Wire the money to the nanny you are making me feel that you are not Honest with me.... Please Try and be honest with cos i don't want any delay for the arriver of my son Even this Issue is Disturbing from my work Please Kindly go now to the western union and get my money sent to the nanny Now again i want you to know that There is know Problem with the nanny to received the money in western union so don't be scared about that.... Okay
Sincerely pad

#14

February 8th, 2010, 02:52 PM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben

You spent his $ in a casino ..and guess what

That's a great idea, and I modified it a bit because this was superbowl weekend:

I have to be honest with you‏
From: hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/08/10 7:43 PM
To: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr. Path:

I got drunk and bet your nanny's money on the Superbowl Football game, trying to double it before I sent the Nanny's fee's. I bet on the Colts and, as you know, the Saints won 31 to 17.

Now I have to borrow another $2,000 from Guido "The Noose" Bagadonuts to send you.

You realize that I'm going to end up with three broken thumbs because of this, don't you?http://thescambaiter.com/forum/images/icons/vomit.gif

#15

February 8th, 2010, 03:09 PM

mugubane14

TSB Noobie

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Charleston, SC, Denver, Austin at various times of year

Posts: 29

Museum Photos: (0)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben

You spent his $ in a casino ..and guess what

That's a great idea, http://thescambaiter.com/forum/image.../notworthy.gif and I modified it a bit because this was superbowl weekend:

I have to be honest with you‏
From: hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/08/10 7:43 PM
To: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr. Path:

I got drunk and bet your nanny's money on the Superbowl Football game, trying to double it before I sent the Nanny's fee's. I bet on the Colts and, as you know, the Saints won 31 to 17.

Now I have to borrow another $2,000 from Guido "The Noose" Bagadonuts to send you.

You realize that I'm going to end up with three broken thumbs because of this, don't you?http://thescambaiter.com/forum/images/icons/vomit.gif

Page 1 of

2011-07-28T18:10:00.001-07:00

Didn't think this one out too well eh?‏
From: bob righteous (bobrighteousisright@gmail.com)

High riskThis message may be a phishing scam. Learn more
Sent: Thu 1/07/10 12:53 AM
To: tookiejones99@hotmail.com

Guess what *does* show up in a google search? Do you teach children? Is this Troy?
sweet teen(prev). фото beth1993bb
- [ Translate this page ]
Yeah, I like her. email tookiejones99@hotmail.com. larsons_x (2009-05-17 16:37: 44): p4p? wahnsinnig@gmx.li. mercury9359 (2009-05-24 11:46:59): ...
imgsrc.ru/beth1993bb/10110980.html -
FKK teen naturist preview of my last albums. фото leibniz
- [ Translate this page ]
tookiej (2009-04-01 06:50:37): May i have pass? tookiejones99@hotmail.com. beth1993bb (2009-05-06 09:07:22): p4p?? please beth1993bb@yahoo.com ...
imgsrc.ru/leibniz/12910335.html -

Show more results from imgsrc.ru
Nudists Pageants Festivals 117 | Nudism Life home photos pictures ...
Oct 24, 2009 ... closer she's younger than her hips and "Privates" make her look. I should look at their faces!!!!email me tookiejones99@hotmail.com. ...
- Cached -

idn't think this one out too well eh? Kitty, Kitty, Kitty getting too curious‏
From: Tookie Jones (tookiejones99@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/15/10 8:26 AM
To: bobrighteousisright@gmail.com
This is one of two or three "throw-away" email accounts established for the purpose of "419 Scambaiting"-aka a deliberate and systematic process of harassing and/or wasting the time of Nigerian "Spanish Prisoner", or Advance-Fee fraud eMail fraud artists. While it seldom results in the actual arrest and prosecution of these overseas criminals, it is by no means merelys and idol "online hobby", it does serve the useful purpose of diverting their attention away from gullible, naive potential victims. This account was established expressly for the purpose of serving as, to co-opt a hacker term, a "Trojan Horse" for the Nigerian's Russian "phishing" counterparts.

I had always been intrigued regarding the intentions of those seeking access to my primary Hotmail account, the one associated with my Craigslist, Facebook and YouTube account so I created this one in order to feign gullibility when "adviced" to verify my intention to keep the account active in the face of "anonymous registry of multiple accounts", among which mine was scheduled to be deleted.

As expected, this account was barely a week old when "Hotmail/Live Customer Care" "adviced" me to verify my password to "avoid it closed".

in the days before email, computers or electricity for that matter, one method of rendering an eavesdropper's comeuppance was to burn their ears with false information, such as the location of hidden valuables following which one could revel in covertly watching the miscreant spend his day with a shovel attempting to unearth the fictitious booty.

In my case the eavesdropper's online counterpart soon found himself engaged in double mulligan of sorts, fruitlessly communicating with a counterfeit bank scammer who had contacted me through my original "master account". I simply forwarded the "Welcome to 'Wachovia' Online" correspondence to this phished account and my eavesdropper was instantly intrigued. From there, I was able to facilitate an "autopilot" scambait which required little more effort on my part to simply open a beer and assume the role of the eavesdropper, privy to the aforementioned mutually fruitless attempts on the parts off the Nigerian and the Russian to rob me.

Regarding my Craigslist account, my postings under "Services Offered>Lessons and Tutoring>guitar, bass guitar and piano" have been the frequent Target of the Counterfeit Cashier's Check/Overpayment scam. This happens to many sellers and service providers. In my case, I'm always skeptical when somebody in the former USSR or UK wants to send their "Child" to the U.S. for guitar lessons and to North Charleston for that matter rather than major conservatory metropoli such as New York/Julliard L.A. or smaller music-intensive towns like Nashville, Austin or Mussel Schoals, Alabama.

From there the logic is negligible at best. The child is always set to be traveling in the care and custody of a mysterious "nanny", or "au Pair" with whom "the student" 's father has contracted.

The scam is thus. The "Father"'s personal assistant has inevitably made the mistake of issuing only one check for the total funds to be remitted to both the nanny and to the music instructor and I am advised to deposit the cashier's check into my account and, once my available balance reflects the deposit, I am "adviced" to forward the "au pair's" remittance via Western Union. The scammer is relying on the music instructor's misconception thatif I include a physical address under the Recipient identifiers, only that party my claim the funds. In reality, only the Money Transfer Control Number (M.T.C.N.) is required for the scam artist to pick up the "nanny's" money, by the time my bank would have detected the fraudulent status of the cashier's check, the money wired through Westtern Union has been released through the M.T.C.N.

I take this sort of attempted fraud more personally because unlike the mass/bulk nature of Nigerian scams, Cashier's check scams specifically target me through responses to my guitar/bass-lessons-offered postings on Craigs list. I used to delete them, but it dawned on me one day that that was too good for them and have endeavored to waste as much of their time as possible. They spend so much time talking about how to handle the "funds" on the check and have never bothered to research the "playing field" of their scam, that that is where I keep redirecting their attention. I make them work to be able to be conversant in things musical. What brand of guitar is your child learning on?, Is it an acoustic or electric? does s/he have a metronome?....I keep them talking about music and musical equipment as they frustratedly attempt to revert the subject to the wire transfer details.

Regarding the questionable nature of any forums to which Boris and Ivan have registered my phished account following the Barclay's Bank Fiasco of 2009, That indeed may be something I didn't think through,and while I haven't been contacted directly by any Soviet pederasts, I have, it would appear, been accepted by proxy to a number of white supremacy organizations. One in particular seems to be determined to oporate within established legal parameters and to find common goals among those of the conservative mainstream of the American Republican party. Givtten my less-than-warm/fuzzy disposition towards substance abuse in the musical community as well as my disgust towards the illegimate Latin American enclaves springing up all over remount road, I'm actually predisposed to giving them a hearty "Sieg Heil!" from a safe distance as both of my grandfathers were amongh the "Greatest Generaltion Ever and fought the Axis Powers on multtiplle fronts. Having said that, YES! I DO teach kids, albeit a teenage male predominance and as a result any further attempts to link me to child pornography will be considered an act of aggression.

Since I know you would never intentionally presume to link me to such lowlife. I consider the matter dropped and I'm that, like any self-respecting Heavy Metal malcontent, Of course, I'm just kidding

Please enjoy this Nigerian's failed guitar lessons scam
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:33:15 -0800
From: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Subject: ===== lesson for my son
To: zarathustra10@hotmail.com

Good day to you over there, my son was born 12th APRIL 1996, i
got your advert on the internet so i want my
child to be taught by you.chinton is 14 year old and easily catch up,easy
going his neat boy and gentle and intelligent,he loves education and
atlethics. Although,i understand you are in US but i've arranged with
my Nanny associate that my son is coming to stay with him for the period
of the tutoring and he has agreed with me he will be in you nearest
location to take good care of my son for the period of the tutor...pls
i will want you to get back to me with requirement information below
as i will like to finalize the basic arrangement before my son and the
Nanny arrive to your location for the lesson.
1.YOUR CHARGE
2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR THE TUTOR
3.FULL NAME AND ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE
4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Don't hesitate to e-mail with your total charges.
Thanks
esson stilll available?

So I get this detailed, well-worded reply to my craigslist ad 5 weeks ago and knew, right away I might add, that something was amiss. Oh, because it was some 3-rd World knuckledragging halfwit trying to ply me with a fake check scam

Naturally, the opportunity to waste these fake-cashier's-check scammers is too good to pass up, so I pretended yet again to be fooled and replied with a warm and welcome attitude.

Good day to you over there, my son was born 12th APRIL 1996, i
got your advert on the internet so i want my
child to be taught by you.chinton is 14 year old and easily catch up,easy
going his neat boy and gentle and intelligent,he loves education and
atlethics. Although,i understand you are in US but i've arranged with
my Nanny associate that my son is coming to stay with him for the period
of the tutoring and he has agreed with me he will be in you nearest
location to take good care of my son for the period of the tutor...pls
i will want you to get back to me with requirement information below
as i will like to finalize the basic arrangement before my son and the
Nanny arrive to your location for the lesson.
1.YOUR CHARGE
2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR THE TUTOR
3.FULL NAME AND ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE
4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Don't hesitate to e-mail with your total charges.
Thanks

From: Path John (pathjohn43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Wed 1/13/10 2:50 AM
@hotmail.com) HE EXTENDS HIS YULETIDE GREETINGS HERE!
hello
am very sorry for the late payment due to small accident i have........so am back home from the hospital and by the grace of god you will receive the payment on friday..........i will be very greatfull if my appology is favourably considered looking forward to hear from you and merry xmas and happy new year to you over there......

of Course, the check "For guitar lessons" arrives for way more than discussed with this explanation:

Hello,
you shall received the payment today here is the UPS tracking number
of the package
1Z9R67V40198416772

As soon as you received the payment you proceed down to your bank and
cash or made deposit of the check, as soon as the money is available
you will deduct the total money for the lesson
The remaining money you will go to a nearby western union money
transfer location and send it to the nanny who will bring my son for the lesson

On getting to any of the Western Union Money Transfer outlet to make
the transfer, they shall ask for a transfer charge this you will
deduct from the Funds you will be sending and send the Funds with the
information below:-

Here is the nanny information read everything done well to avoid mistake...

Receivers Name :.Denise Henderson
Address........141 south state street
City.......... Randolph
State........ NJ
Zip Code......... 07869

And so I begin with the Western Union reverse-scam MTCN Secure game

of Course, the check "For guitar lessons" arrives for way more than discussed with this explanation:

Hello,
you shall received the payment today here is the UPS tracking number
of the package
1Z9R67V40198416772

As soon as you received the payment you proceed down to your bank and
cash or made deposit of the check, as soon as the money is available
you will deduct the total money for the lesson
The remaining money you will go to a nearby western union money
transfer location and send it to the nanny who will bring my son for the lesson

On getting to any of the Western Union Money Transfer outlet to make
the transfer, they shall ask for a transfer charge this you will
deduct from the Funds you will be sending and send the Funds with the
information below:-

Here is the nanny information read everything done well to avoid mistake...

Receivers Name :.Denise Henderson
Address........141 south state street
City.......... Randolph
State........ NJ
Zip Code......... 07869

To submit the payment with Western Union Money Transfer, follow
this steps: -

1. Visit a Western Union Agency Location's
2. Complete the "To Send Money" form
3. Identify yourself
4. Present payment
5. Collect the receipt from the clerk
: As soon as you have transferred the money, you will send me the
details which you use in transferring the money so as to enable him
get the money and I shall call you as soon as the money is been picked
up to let you know that everything is fine and okay. You will send me
these Western Union Money Transfer Transferr details which you use to
transfer the money :-
1. Sender's Name : .....?
2. Sender's Address : .....?
3. Receiver's Name : Denise Henderson
4. MTCN ( Money Transfer Control Number ) 10 Digits : ..... ?
5. Amount Transfered { After Western Union Fees/charges } : .....?
6. YOU CAN SCAN THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT/TRANSFER SLIP AND EMAIL
IT TO ME OKAY.

Thankse?

Youre Welcomeb

hello am very glad to read from you what am saying is that you must send it to my nanny today because you are the that is delaying them so that they can arrive immediately you send the money to them and i will let you know that am in califonia for my bussiness cuz am a business man and my son and the nanny is in Randolph NJ and is my nanny that call me and said he is waiting for the money you want to send for the arrival of my son get back to me asap......

Hello ,I don't really get what you saying on the Phone..Please it's getting late and want you to go ahead and have the money sent today

Current Server Time: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:51:39 -0500

The Mugu did very well, clicking all the little, ti-nitsey itsy. witsy boxes for several hours.

Start Time / Time of latest Refresh: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:47:05 -0500
Time of last Box click: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:20:10 -0500
Total Correct boxes clicked: 40
Total Refreshes: 13
Completed the Process?: no

and at last writes

Hello,thanks for the info you pass on to me but there is a problem on here cos the Nanny said she having alot of problem getting through all this and also there is no western union outlet at his area,so i will like you to go back and have the money you sent then proceed to Money Gram and have the money send there..You can deduct $50 for gas and have the rest send to her..I will be looking forward to hear back from you..Thanks

Path John

So, it's off to MoneyGram....
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Old February 7th, 2010, 07:34 AM
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IMPORTANT THE MTCN NUMBER IS DIFFICULT FOR MY NANNY TO FIND...‏
From: Path John (pathjohn43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sun 2/07/10 12:13 PM
To: ********************0@hotmail.com)
Hello i was informed now from my nanny due to the information of the MTCN SECURE you send to me that i forward to my nanny and my nanny told me that is very difficult to him to find the MTCN number pls kindly write out the MTCN NUMBER to me 10 DIGIT for him to cash the money today so that they can arrive on monday .
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Old February 7th, 2010, 07:37 AM
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IMPORTANT THE MTCN NUMBER IS DIFFICULT FOR MY NANNY TO FIND...‏
From: Path John (pathjohn43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sun 2/07/10 12:13 PM
To: *********************@hotmail.com)

Hello i was informed now from my nanny due to the information of the MTCN SECURE you send to me that i forward to my nanny and my nanny told me that is very difficult to him to find the MTCN number pls kindly write out the MTCN NUMBER to me 10 DIGIT for him to cash the money today so that they can arrive on monday .
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Old February 7th, 2010, 07:39 AM
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I've got the studio all set up for your son's lesson. I think instead of wiring the money, I'll just pay the nanny her fees tomorrow when the lesson starts.

Hello
Am very glad For your Honest But i want you to know that i have book my son Ticket now so the arriver day is Wensday And The nanny Need to Buy some thing Before my son arrivel to State that is why i want you to Help me Arrenge the MTCN Number Very well and send it to me so He can Quickly Go and Pick the money up in western union...... i hope you understand me Troy? please Kindly get me back with the MTCN Number Now am online waiting to hear From you.... please i Don't want any Delay For my Son
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Old February 7th, 2010, 07:57 AM
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a form idea to draw up for these?... multi daft question sort of thing
...
What is his level at the moment
Is John left or right handed
Which style of music is he interested in playing
Electric / Acoustic / Clockwork...other
etc..
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Old February 7th, 2010, 09:03 AM
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Yeah, exactly. Thanks for reading it. I'm in the middle of one now.

I love to steer them away from talking about the money transfer and make them feign an interest in music, music equipment, and children's academics-all things a real parent would be very willing to discuss with a music teacher.

It's like when a junkie is trying to score money for a fix and you make them explain just how it is, one more time, that his wife and kids are stranded up the road and he needs gas money, but not a lift back to his family...sweat pouring out of his forehead and picking at his scabs.
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Old February 7th, 2010, 01:12 PM
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The Mugu is very upset.

hello am very glad to read from you but you dissapointed me by calling me scam the reason i said that you should pls send the MTCN NUMBER to me is that my nanny can't find it the way you said before and am using this oppotunity to tell you that my check is not a fake and i will le you know that am a man like you and i understand you because there is a lot of scam online that is why you said mu nanny should find the mtcn like that am waiting for your reply thanks...

I just verified that your check is real.

My piano student Leotard Hogarth is going now to send the $2,725 to Denise Henderson
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Old February 8th, 2010, 02:40 AM
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They're so hard on Western Union scams here, you have to gaze at this autostereogram and see the M.T.C.N. in your cross-eyed vision. Just be sure you don't stare too long, or you'll need to be shoved into an MRI and have your feet bled.

Hello
Well you Really sound great to me But i want you to know that you suppose to Follow my Instruction Cos i have told you that The Nanny have to buy some thing before the arriver of my son that is why i want you to Quickly Send the money to him so he can make Every thing fast so there would not be any Delay for the arriver of my son.... Once again i want you to be honest with me, i guess you told me that you are sending your student to wire the money to the nanny... Once again i want you to kindly go to Western union and get the western union and i want you to Deduct any amount western union charge you out of the money and send the rest back to the nanny..... Please and Please Mr Troy i want you to get the money Send now so the nanny can pick it up As soon as possible.....Please i don't want delay for the arriver of my son i want him to start the lesson immediately he arrive to State ok?
Sincerely john
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Old February 8th, 2010, 03:01 AM
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Date: Sun, 7 Feb 2010 23:08:09 -0800
From: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Lessons begin Monday, 8 February.
To: ************@hotmail.com

hello how are you today i will like to tell you that my son will arrive with my nanny on wednesday...

Well, that's funny, because from the looks of things, your nanny can't handle a simple Western Union Wire-Transfer-pickup, yet you would trust her with the care and feeding of a human child? I wouldn't leave her alone with a Shih Tzu. Even a housebroken Shiz Tzu. That incompetent hag is having trouble getting her money. I think you should send her a money order so she can travel with your kid to my city for these guitar lessons, and I'll just send your money back Western Union.

Better yet, just let me keep the whole check and I'll clear out the room I've been using for storage. My last touring band had a giant dragon and a massive satanic pentagram onstage, but if you explain to your son that it was just heavy metal theatrics, I'm sure he'll understand that I don't really worship the devil. I'm really one of Jehovah's Witnesses, like the Jackson 5 brothers, but who wants to go see a band play dressed in nice suits and normal male haircuts?

What kind of food does your son like? Is he used to 3 large meals or more like 6 smaller meals, like a weightlifter? I'll get a used TV from the pawnshop, there's already a coaxial cable I won't even block the porn, he'll love that. At his age, I used to masturbate till the cows came home.,because I grew up on a working bovine farm that also made dirty movies. I've taken care of kids before and taught them the value of hard work.
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Old February 8th, 2010, 08:01 AM
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You spent his $ in a casino ..and guess what
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Old February 8th, 2010, 02:32 PM
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I should have thought of that this time. Thank you, I'll do that next time.

In the meantime, my Mugu from this teaching scam/fake check can't take the hint, and "The nanny is still trying to collect her fund".

Hello,
Am very confuse about you what you said.... i have already made all arrangement with the nanny just for you to Wire the money to the nanny you are making me feel that you are not Honest with me.... Please Try and be honest with cos i don't want any delay for the arriver of my son Even this Issue is Disturbing from my work Please Kindly go now to the western union and get my money sent to the nanny Now again i want you to know that There is know Problem with the nanny to received the money in western union so don't be scared about that.... Okay
Sincerely pad
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Old February 8th, 2010, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben View Post
You spent his $ in a casino ..and guess what
That's a great idea, and I modified it a bit because this was superbowl weekend:

I have to be honest with you‏
From: hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/08/10 7:43 PM
To: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr. Path:

I got drunk and bet your nanny's money on the Superbowl Football game, trying to double it before I sent the Nanny's fee's. I bet on the Colts and, as you know, the Saints won 31 to 17.

Now I have to borrow another $2,000 from Guido "The Noose" Bagadonuts to send you.

You realize that I'm going to end up with three broken thumbs because of this, don't you?http://thescambaiter.com/forum/images/icons/vomit.gif
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Old February 8th, 2010, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben View Post
You spent his $ in a casino ..and guess what
That's a great idea, http://thescambaiter.com/forum/image.../notworthy.gif and I modified it a bit because this was superbowl weekend:

I have to be honest with you‏
From: hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/08/10 7:43 PM
To: pathjohn43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr. Path:

I got drunk and bet your nanny's money on the Superbowl Football game, trying to double it before I sent the Nanny's fee's. I bet on the Colts and, as you know, the Saints won 31 to 17.

Now I have to borrow another $2,000 from Guido "The Noose" Bagadonuts to send you.

You realize that I'm going to end up with three broken thumbs because of this, don't you?http://thescambaiter.com/forum/images/icons/vomit.gif
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Reply
Page 1 of

Crews watch for 'spot' fires inside Los Alamos nuclear lab

2011-06-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

Firefighters for the first time gained control of a small edge of the fire near the Los Alamos National Laboratory on Wednesday, but were on alert for any spot fires that might fall within the nuclear weapons lab or nearby town.

Only on msnbc.com

The so-called Las Conchas Fire, which continues to throw small fires onto Los Alamos National Laboratory, has grown to nearly 70,000 acres, fire information officer Linda Kearns said.

But about three percent of the fire's perimeter was finally contained, the first time firefighters were able to make headway on the blaze that had burned out of control since Sunday.

Some 350 firefighters and five helicopters have been battling the blaze, and more than 600 more crews were expected to join the firelines Wednesday.

"This is as dry as you can get, I've never seen it this dry," Los Alamos County Fire Chief Doug Tucker said at an afternoon press conference where he explained a plan to protect the town by clearing brush.

Kearns earlier reported "spots" had fallen on lab property "but they're putting them out pretty much right away."

However, Tucker later said he had no information about any additional spot fires beyond one put out on Monday.

A buried natural gas pipeline running near the northern edge of the fire has been turned off as a precaution, incident fire commander Joe Reinarz said. Los Alamos laboratory officials have been shutting down gas lines since the fire began to encroach on lab property earlier this week.

Both the town of Los Alamos, home to about 12,000 residents, and the laboratory, with a work force of about 15,000, were evacuated on Monday. The lab is scheduled to be shut down at least through Thursday.

Situated on a hilltop 35 miles northwest of Santa Fe, the lab property covers 36 square miles and includes about 2,000 buildings, none of which have yet burned.

Established during World War Two as part of the top-secret Manhattan Project to build the first atomic bomb, the complex remains one of the leading nuclear arms manufacturing facilities in the United States.

Video: Fire continues to threaten nuclear lab (on this page)

At a community meeting late on Tuesday, hundreds of evacuees gathered in a local gymnasium to hear updates and voice concern about about the potential of a radioactive smoke plume if the flames reach thousands of barrels of waste stored in above-ground tents at the lab.

Mai Ting, a doctor living in nearby Pojoaque, said she was frustrated by the lack of information on how to stay safe.

"I'm not a fearmonger, but there's a reason this story is on the national and world news. It's because of the nuclear lab. I don't trust this fire," she said.

She added that she thought people staying near the fire should be consuming lots of potassium iodide and seaweed to counteract the potential effects of radiation.

"What do I tell my children and grandchildren?" she said. "Well, they've left. I didn't want them around here."

Some residents who decided to wait out the fire weren't concerned, including Mark Smith, a chemical engineer who works at the lab.

"The risk of exposure is so small. I wouldn't sit here and inhale plutonium. I may be crazy, but I'm not dumb," he said.

Real American Ingenuity.

2010-02-15T22:15:00.000-08:00

Real American Know-How.

Der Fuhrer would be so proud
Genuine "Aryan" Kraftwerk.

2010-02-08T15:07:00.002-08:00

2010-02-08T15:07:00.001-08:00

2010-02-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

Why Does Hitler Paint?

2009-12-31T06:51:00.000-08:00

This stands alone as a lovely facade'.

But if that's not an "aryan" Jesus, I dont's know what is?!

And sorry Adolph, but that multi-coloured sun, is going to get that painting of Veinna put on the 'fridge.

2009-10-09T17:04:00.001-07:00

2009-09-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

My name is Mrs Shalot I'm interested in your lesson. I would like you
to be taking my daughter your lesson while i am at work in your city.
I live in England(UK) but I'm moving to your area because I'm having
a contract with Environmental Protection Agency in united state, And
they are the one responsible for all payment of all my need including
the lesson fee and there mode of payment is by cashier check.the
contract will be just for 4 weeks so i want you to email me back if
you can teach my daughter (Darby) she is just (16 yrs old) and also
you don't have to worry concerning how she will be coming to the
lesson i have already made all necessary arrangement for all her need
in fact i have negotiate with a cab company that will provide her the
cab and driver that will be driving her to the lesson and driving her
back home after the lesson . so i will want you to get back to me with
the total charges for the 2hr in a day 3 days in a week for good 4
weeks...

> YOU WILL HAVE TO EMAIL ME BACK ALL THIS INFORMATION SO THAT I CAN SEND
> IT TO THE E.P.A SO THEY I'LL ARRANGE FOR THE PAYMENT ASAP.
>
> (1) TOTAL CHARGES FOR THE LESSON $390
> (2) YOUR FULL NAME TO BE ON THE CHECK Troy England Evitt, III
> (3) YOUR LIVING ADDRESS TO SEND THE CHECK TO xxx xxxxxx St. Charleston, SC
> (4) YOUR ZIPCODE 29xxx
> (5) YOUR PHONE NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION 843-991-5658
>
Dear Mrs. Shalot:

First, thank you for your interest in your daughter's musical education. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's some anxsty little British bitch who barely knows three cords and says, "Well, that bass line's a bit naff, then, isn't it?"

So you go right ahead and hoist little Prudence over the hedges that conceal my bedroom window from the view of those not given to my rakish proclivities. I'll have her all sorted out in just two or three lessons.

Hello, Am ok with all you have said, we will be arriving on 29 of
september so she will buy all necessary book and materials to be
purchased for the Lesson and also i will want you to understand that i
have contact the cab company that will provide us a car and and driver
who will be driving us when we arrive to state.So You Are to take her
for four weeks so have forward your information to the E.P.A secure
payment department in united state so they will send you a check of
$3050 so you will deduct the total charges for the 4 weeks charges out
of the money.So the rest money is for the cab company as have told you
earlier that have arrange for the cab company that will be driving me
to work and also be taking her to your location every day.So once you
deduct your own money you will have to wire the rest money via western
union to them so i will email you there western union information to
reeive the money once the check deliver to you, And make sure you get
that done for me because the cab company let me understand that they
will not agree in working with me working with me by driving me and my
daughter without receiving any deposit from me before we arrive to the
state so you will have to do that for me as a help before we arrive

2009-09-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

2009-08-25T01:29:00.000-07:00

2009-06-17T21:46:00.001-07:00

Babies and puppies.

2009-06-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

I WON!!

2009-06-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

I'm wasting the time of scam artists again!

End States' "Rights", Disolve Private "Property" in excess of $12,000

2009-04-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

The rich, capitalist Republicons have had their day in the sun, much as a rotting whale carcass has. Covered in flies and maggots, the putrid corpse of American't excess should be blown up. I don't care how many years somebody went to med or law school or whatever higher education they pursued, nor how much corporate ass-kissing they endured. If they didn't do it for the greater good of the whole of society, they did it all for nothing. Bill Gates and his ilk have more money than they can spend in their lifetimes, so fuck that they "earned" it. They earned it by not having enough capital gains levied against them. They did not earn each penny by the sweat of their brows. They control the means of production and they throw crumbs to their employees.

If I had my way, they'd be forced to live up to the hopes raised by the email scams that Microsoft and others are giving away grants. And I hate fucking email scams.

Desolve the individual States as well. Texas first. Maybe make Austin an enclave since the capital city has all of the common sense and decency of the whole state concentrated into one city, Austin/county, Travis, but fuck the neocons. Let them shoot their guns up in the air on their fucking Baptist church-steps until We The People of the USSA come and burn their stupid fucking churches to the ground. Why I even gave a moment's consideration towards conceding the basic decency of religious nutballs is beyond me. It started with a food (re)distribution program based on a nearby religious group's kind efforts. I'm just gonna have to get involved with Food not Bombs or something, because as Ashley Holt pointed out, I was being a bit hipocritical denouncing religion while trying to "reach across the aisles" to the idiots.

Lit Review

2009-04-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

In his novel, Obscene Atlanta, Parkins Baltazar recalls the truces he entered into and breached with the kind of carelessnessreserved for a Thanksgiving dinner hastily eaten over the kitchen sink.

Baltazar sheds new meaning on the word "obseqious" as this harrowing how-to guide takes you step-by-step through the life and times of a hardened recantuer.

His brief stint in the Army is chronicaled in a compleling forthrightness that stands unchallanged in justifying his extended stint in the discliplinary barracks at Ft.Leavenworth and his subsequent launch into geosynchronous orbit where he earned hisbachalor's in physics just trying to use the bathroom in the same manner that resulted in the phasing out of space monkeys inthe first place.

Peeling back the layers of a man so inept as himself requires the kind of unflinching self-inventory that only a man inextended recovery from the abuse of alcohol and hard drugs as Parkins Baltazer wishes he was.

A teetotaler, baltazer never touched a drop or drug not prescibed by a physician, but in view of his wanton hubris, he hasregularly attened AA meatings since the late 80s and has made remarkable strides in not being a complete and utter fuckface and serves as an example of why none of us should be allowed to profit from a book deal involving admitting in the court of public opinion the nature of our wrongdoings.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll seek medical attention as you read this peach of a med-time story between sentencing appeals.

Peaches McGhee sweps us off our teets with his chilling sequel to "I pummeled a nobody", which kept us on the edge of ourseats for so long we all bought beanbag chairs.

Well, the 70s have faded into time, but our buddy Peachs seems to be just getting started. While the 80s saw a rise in steller exposes of upper-class pomposity with the rise of programs like Falcon Crest, Dallas and Gold Man Jones, McGhee's writing lost momentum but never had the sense to simply go away. Maybe that's a good thing because in the long-awaited sequel,

"Nobdy Puts Peaches McGee Into a Coma", he recounts how he must've really fucked up that one time and had to learn to use a fork all over again. I give it a "G" for "Somebody pitch a granade into this fiasco" because while most of it actually happened the way he tells it, it's because somebody else had to remind him the whole time he was typing this unauthorized
autobiography.I recomend this book for anybody seeking a book about formal dinner place settings and cat care.

In "I go chop yo dollar", Semboko Ubo tell us how he spammed his way into the bank accounts of an unsuspecting public and into the heart of one little Rwandan girl who was born with her heart lodged in her spine. Though he never comes to this child's direct financial aid, stories of his arrest for uploading a picture of her on life support and saying he was her "HonorableBarrister" lead to her having been flown to the United States and given a series of painful skin grafts before the mistake was discovered. If this story doesn't restore your faith in humanity, it's because it's not supposed to.

If a dusty old stack of penny dreadfuls is more your speed, gear up for Penelope Grimm's short collection of compliled stories, "Pinpricks and Elephant Guns", which pen-in villian mustaches, vandykes and missing teeth on a number of recycledmorality plays meant to keep children out of Hell. Don't blame me for warning you never to set foot into this one, I'm not telling you nothing about none of this for your own good. So read it on the toilet for all I know.

What they won't do....!

2009-03-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

Guitar, Bass and Piano. $65/4x/Hour/90 min.‏
From: lucas mandy (lucasmandy2@gmail.com)
Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent: Thu 3/26/09 7:02 PM
To: serv-*****-**********@craigslist.org
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
So this idiot's using some kind of mass mailer to spam all the teachers, tutors and and marigold rooters advertising on Craig'sList.
It gives the appearance that this is a harried parent looking for anything to keep "her kid" busy.

I am looking for a good and reliable tutor that will teach my daughter in one of the subjects listed below:
+MUSIC
+ART
+FRENCH
+SPANISH
+GERMAN
+ITALIAN
+ENGLISH LITERATURE

* Compensation: $50
* This is a part-time job.
* This is a contract job.

Thanks,
Mrs mandy jones
this message was remailed to you via: serv-uydwp-1093180941@craigslist.org
Knowing full-well this is a fucking scam, I says to Mable, I saysHello.
How old is your daughter and what grade is she?
How far can you travel for music lessons?
This is going to become lurid. Look what she just said. Remember, there is no "child"/"teenager" here; the scam artist is trying to ply me with a fake check for way more than I get for guitar/bass/piano instruction, and tell me she made out one check for "lessons, room'n'board, and the nanny" I will eventually be "adviced" to deposit a worthless, but realistic, cashier's check into my savings and withdraw all but what I get for "teaching Kimberly" and wire the rest to the "nanny". Don't go getting DATELINE, NBC involved
regards
If its going to work, Kindly get back to me with the amount per hour
for the total half month of March/April
Mrs mandy jones

Hello,
How you doing?...i do appreciate your reply and wanting to help my kid in her studies currently i am in Barcelona Spain, but my daughter will be coming for a vacation in USA and i want her to be busy throughout because she is a bit playful.
Well first of all, I'm not a little intrigued by your having characterized your daughter as playful. My instrument is not without its complexities and to teach how to perform on it will certainly keep her busy.This scam artist is incapable of identifying sexual innuendo when conveyed in English, and that what I'm saying about a ficticious adolescent girl is of no matter as long as he-it's a guy you know-gets me to wire back the money.
She will be coming to your home for 2 hour each day, I have scheduled a guardian that will always drive her down to your place. My daughter's name is Kimberley ,she is 15 years old and she is in Grade 10. I want to know the total amount for an hour each. so that i can arrange for the payments.
I've been performing for 22 years, normally in duet settings but have been trio-curious on occasion. Students your daughter's age tend to blossom first in duets and then as they master fingering and technique on the instrument, often find that one counterpart fails to complete the melody. I would think your daughter would return to Spain well-versed in these matters.
I will gladly accept payment in the form of a check, or you could wire the funds directly into my account.
Therefore, i just want to know maybe she can always come to you and be her tutor so she can learn from you i mean you can give her any lesson.
I can only endeavor to assure you that to represent my intentions as less than honorable would be to understate the matter entirely.
If possible,please get back to me with the cost of your teaching for the next month i mean the month of march/April
My normal fee is $65 per month but for twice a week, I would not charge the full $130/65x2.

Thanks,
for the email, and moreover I'am glad for keeping me updated in regards to the tutorials and more so for accepting the offer
When we make a deal here in the US we shake hands and bow to our Asian counterparts.
Please consider this email to be bowing and shaking hands.
and its okay by me,I have make contacts with my daughter concerning the arrangement of the tutoring which she told me is ok by her and i want you to know that i am going to pay for 2 hours for 20days. At $15 an hour, a two hour session would be $30. 30x2 is 60, it would be $600 for me to keep Kimberly coming for 2 hours each of 20 days, Okey day?
but i will need to get an apartment for my daughter and also i want you to know that my client who is in US will be sending you my salary payment which i want you to know that the rest of the money will be used to get accommodation beside your location
You should find that there are many people who would be very accommodating with regards to providing a musical and playful 15 year old girl an apartment.
and any other arrangement for the lesson,as soon as you get the payment you will deduct cost of tutoring of the lesson and send the remaining balance to my NANNY Via western union.cos the payment will come inform of a certified check.
Regarding this, kindly reconfirm your full information to receive the check so that payment can be able to made out on-time.The information that will be needed are :
(A) Full Name:Troy "taters'n'eggs" Evitt
(B) Full Address:5*2* C**** Ave.
city withheld due to vendor issues, SC, 29***
(C) Working Phone no.*843-991-5658
Thanks and waiting to read from you.
mrs mandy jones

And on St. Patricks Day

2009-03-18T17:18:00.000-07:00

We are ever mindfull that St. Patrick Drove all of the pre-Christian spiritual systems out of Ireland.

Bless You!

2009-03-18T16:25:00.001-07:00

Dead or Alive?

2009-03-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

Some more 419 scammers are trying to get money out of me, asking "are you dead or alive" in their subject header.

FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER: DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN (OFR) FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area
Abuja - Nigeria

From: dr.shamsuddenusman_nig@hotmail.com
To: zarathustra10@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: are you dead or alive??
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 06:03:37 +0100.

Attention: DEAR
My name is .DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN , I'm the the new Minister of Finance, I'm directed to contact you by the (UNITED NATION AND INTAERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND )to urgently confirm from you if actually you know one Mrs Joy william and COLLEAGUES who claim to be your business associate/ partner in your country .

The said Mrs Joy Williams is claiming to us that you are dead and he will like to change all the Information that you gave to us as our bona fide beneficiary. Below is the new banking information were he wish to have this funds transferred to:-

Bank of America
6901 Northwest Expressway
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73132
ABA: 026009593 (International)
ACCT. #:003042656833
ACCT: Name: FMS Investments Inc.
Signatory: Floyd M. Shealy

This development is coming up now that the Ministry want to offset all your outstanding payments to all our legal foreign beneficiaries’ around the world in which your payment file was affected.

As you may know, the total amount in your favor is a total sum of $37.5 Million U.S Dollars. We need to confirm from you if it's really true that you are dead and If we did not hear from you it automatically means that you are actually dead and the information passed to us by Mrs Joy Williams and is correct.

You are to contact me through my email address as soon as you receive this message so as to know the true position of things with you so that we would not make any mistake in remitting your out-standing payment to a wrong person/account.

Your swift response will help this ministry a lot. Do email me with your full names and direct phone number for an easy communication, your age and occupation to this effect.

From: Troy England Evitt, III.

19 March, 2009

Attention: DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN (OFR) FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area
Abuja - Nigeria .

Well, as luck would have it, I'm very much undead.

I am, or was before the recession, an employee of the Umbrella Corporation, one of Joy William's business clients.

The said Mrs Joy Williams is claiming to us that you are dead and he will like to change all the Information that you gave to us as our bona fide beneficiary. By all accounts, I should be dead, the T-virus has made me particularly susceptible to necrosis, but Dr. Wesker injected me with an antidote. Tell Joy Williams that the Tyrant procject was, to say the least, a dissapointment.

Below is the new banking information were he wish to have this funds transferred to:-

Bank of America
6901 Northwest Expressway
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73132
ABA: 026009593 (International)
ACCT. #:003042656833
ACCT: Name: FMS Investments Inc.
Signatory: Floyd M. Shealy

This development is coming up now that the Ministry want to offset all your outstanding payments to all our legal foreign beneficiaries’ around the world in which your payment file was affected.

FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER: DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN (OFR) FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area
Abuja - Nigeria .
The Information you requested is below, I I will get to Western Union by or before 12 PM, Eastern Daylight Time, but you must understand, that just as Ms. Joy Williams was concerned for my life-or-death, that the Tyrant Virus has grown more aggressive and Dr. Wesker has been unavailable to deliver the second antidote. can you see if Ms. Williams can make contact with me regarding the "Raccoon City Incident"-underneath the Mansion facility.

Beneficiary’s Full Name: Troy England Evitt, III.................................................................. .............................................................................................................

Account information....Wachovia Bank of Racoon City, SC........................................................................

..............................................................................................................

Full Address: .........3**9 Crown Ave. North Charleston, SC............................................................................

.................................................................................................................

Telephone No: ........843-991-****.................................... Fax No: ……...........................................

Email adress za******10@hotmail.com.....................................................................................................................................………………………………………………..……………………....

Date of Birth: 14 September, 1968 ………………………………………………………………….…….

Occupation:.Biotech Defense Engineer........................................................................................................... Retired…N/A…………………………………………………………………..…….

Next of Kin: ...Avery Dratch.......................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................................

Account type: ..Checking............................................ Currency Type: US Dollars ......................................

Preferred Account User’s Name:..Evitt, Troy E................................................................................ .........................................................................................................................................

Preferred Account User’s Password:....Ev68itt...................................................... .......................................................................................................................

Beneficiary’s Signature: ............Troy England Evitt, III........................................... Date:..18 March, 2009.............. ...................................................................................................................

FOR OFFICIAL USE...........................................................................

then you have to send $300 and 70 us dollars only fo the prossesing of the approvard of the fund document form and the pin code nuber so that your fund $37.5 million will be approved in your name as the oreginal beneficiary of the fund...and also be transfer to you today.

RECEIVERS NAME:.........................JAMES AREMSTRONG

LOCATION….................................lagos nigeria Se5 8P6…. London uk.

TEST QUESTION:........ ......................in god

TEST ANSWER: ......................................we trust

AMOUNT............................................$300 AND 70 US DOLLARS

MTCN NUMBER...............................................................

SENDERS NAME...............................................................

DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN:

this is to inform you that we are in the resip of your mail you....and also want to let you know that you will need to chouse an option how you want the fund to be deliverd to you.

1)deliverd by diplomat to your door step (2) bank to bank transfer whcich is online bank.

.My finger just fell off!

2009-03-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

Are you dead or alive?

From:	fedral ministry fo finance (offices.offices3@verizon.net)
Sent:	Wed 3/18/09 4:28 AM
To:

FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER: DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN (OFR) FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area
Abuja - Nigeria .

Attention: DEAR
My name is .DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN , I'm the the new Minister of Finance, I'm directed to contact you by the (UNITED NATION AND INTAERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND )to urgently confirm from you if actually you know one Mrs Joy william and COLLEAGUES who claim to be your business associate/ partner in your country .

The said Mrs Joy Williams is claiming to us that you are dead and he will like to change all the Information that you gave to us as our bona fide beneficiary.

As you may know, the total amount in your favor is a total sum of $37.5 Million U.S Dollars. We need to confirm from you if it's really true that you are dead and If we did not hear from you it automatically means that you are actually dead and the information passed to us by Mrs Joy Williams and is correct.

Your swift response will help this ministry a lot. Do email me with your full names and direct phone number for an easy communication, your age and occupation to this effect.

Best Regards,

Attention: DR. SHAMSUDDEN USMAN (OFR) FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area
Abuja - Nigeria .

Well, as luck would have it, I'm very much undead.

I am, or was before the recession, an employee of the Umbrella Corporation, one of Joy William's business clients.

The said Mrs Joy Williams is claiming to us that you are dead and he will like to change all the Information that you gave to us as our bona fide beneficiary. By all accounts, I should be dead, the T-virus has made me particularly susceptible to necrosis, but Dr. Wesker injected me with an antidote. Tell Joy Williams that the Tyrant procject was, to say the least, a dissapointment.

Below is the new banking information were he wish to have this funds transferred to:-

Bank of America
6901 Northwest Expressway

2009-03-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

2009-02-25T15:21:00.001-08:00

One of my fondest childhood memories is the Ice Cream Truck. That pyscho music box playlist of caliope circus marches and the taste of an orange Push Up on a Thursday afternoon in July in South Carolina was my redemption.

But today I had to hear the goddamn Ice Cream truck play a mind-numbing loop of inane attraction music that began and ended with a girl's voice calling, "Hello?!"

In February. In nippy twilight weather. No dick. Hard nipples. Cold.

This bastard's selling fucking ice cream in a took and mittens.

That qualifies as "Ice cream to Eskimos", 'round these parts.

What I wish, at 40, is that we had a better offering for 30-degree weather.

A soup guy. An old Jewish soup guy, kvetching in righteous Yiddish indignation, but with this cart of hot soups.

This, I would like.

Chicken Noodle and Lentils would be your choices and you better have correct change, but after a while you figured you were counted among those people he'd bitch about while never cursing anybody to their face.

And forget the sickening, major-key yuck yuck music of the Ice Cream truck, you knew he was coming owing to his endless lament over this or that social ill; you'd hear his bitching blocks away.

Threat Guild-or-Ashley's Revenge.

2009-02-25T14:57:00.000-08:00

Drink deep this Rocky's-eye-view of THRDGLL:

This is freaky: stare and count to 45...

...after a while, you feel all "beaten up", doncha?

Hot or Hoot? Niether!

2009-01-31T17:59:00.000-08:00

I wasn't so much "gay" as "broke".

my head

2009-01-31T16:12:00.000-08:00

7:00 AM Who Can Inspire a Day Like This?

2009-01-16T07:40:00.001-08:00

How bout a steamin' cup of Folgers? Along with some Sharon Tater Tots

2009-01-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

2009-01-07T15:58:00.000-08:00

2008-12-31T16:05:00.001-08:00

I've been having the Scammers On:

2008-12-31T13:30:00.000-08:00

Gentleman:

First I must remark that only a firm of the highest stature could possibly hold offices on the grounds of the John Rylands University Library. Do you also lecture in Law Studies?

FULL NAMES: Troy Evitt
RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS: 411 Picket St.
POSTAL ADDRESS:Columbia, SC, 29154
EMAIL ADDRESS;zarathustra10@hotmail.com AND FAX NUMBERS:N/A
PHONE 843 991-5658
OCCUPATION:Agriculture Onion Boy Farms
PLACE OF BIRTH;
AGE;
CITIZENSHIP;
SCANNED COPY OF A VALID IDENTIFICATION.

IN YOUR RESPONSE TO THIS EMAIL TO ENABLE ME PREPARE THE DOCUMENTATIONS,AS SOON AS I AM DONE I WOULD SEND THE DOCUMENTS TO THE BANK AT ONCE, SO THAT YOU CAN CONTACT THE UK BANK AND GET THE FUNDS WHICH NOVEL FRANCES ANNE INTEND TO TRANSFER AND DEPOSIT IN YOUR ACCOUNT.

YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER YOURSELF A LUCKY INDIVIDUAL TO HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH THE NOVEL FAMILY.

YOU HAVE BEEN NOMINATED TO GET THIS FUNDS AS A RESULT OF THE FACT THAT SHE IS VERY SICK AND WISH TO FULFILL THE WILL AND WISHES OF HER LATE HUSBAND THE HONORABLE SIR NOVELL AND YOU COULD EFFECTIVELY GET THIS FUND THROUGH THE UK BANK WHERE THE FUNDS IS DEPOSITED WITHOUT MUCH DIFFICULTY DUE TO TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT WITH THE HELP OF ONLINE BANK TRANSFER.

I WILL WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU.

Ron Parker & Associates, London, UK
150 Deansgate,Manchester M3 3EH
UNITED KINGDOM.
Tel: +44 703 195 4726
+44 703 195 6842

Fax: +(44)870-471-3395

This German Company Needs New P.R.

2008-12-28T09:13:00.001-08:00

And, if you read the whole thing, It Only Gets Worse!

For over 120 years the name FAG has been synonymous with high quality rolling bearings. In 1883, Friedrich Fischer designed a ball grinding machine in Schweinfurt, Germany. that, for the first time, made it possible to produce absolutely round steel balls by grinding.regarded as the This is one of the reasons why FAG has long been considered to be a pioneer in rolling bearing technology.

Company

[FAG Bearings Show]

The FAG brand started with an ingenious idea. In 1883, Friedrich Fischer designed a ball grinding machine in Schweinfurt, Germany that, for the first time, made it possible to produce absolutely round steel balls by grinding. This invention is regarded as the foundation for the entire rolling bearing industry.

This is one of the reasons why FAG has long been considered to be a pioneer in rolling bearing technology. Today, FAG is one of the leading brands for applications in machine building, the automotive industry and in aviation and aerospace technology. The Schaeffler Group's FAG brand has companies, subsidiaries and sales agencies in all major industrial countries.

Since 2001, FAG has been part of the Schaeffler Group and has been active in all of the group’s divisions – Aerospace, Automotive and Industrial. Together with INA’s complementary product range, FAG has one of the widest product portfolios in the rolling bearing industry, covering nearly all applications in production machinery, power transmission and rail technology, heavy industry and consumer products.

My Greeting.

2008-12-24T17:01:00.000-08:00

A recent email exchange and a discussion with one of my younger, and more fetching I might add, gutiar/bass students (She's an adult, if only barely, you catch-a-predator fans) sparked a bit of Google "research". This student of mine is planning to go Ophelia on everybody and commit herself to MUSC's psych ward in beautiful Downtown Charleston for the holidays. A Sociology major, she's intrigued about the

While the media has grossly overshot the mark, claiming a non-existent increase in suicide rates over the holidays, there is one logical explanation, the kernal of truth if you will.

Mental Health

Seasonal Affective Disorder

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is mood disorder characterized by mental depression related to a certain season of the year - especially winter. Onset usually occurs during adulthood, and it is four times more likely to happen to women than men. Approximately 11 million people are diagnosed with this disorder, which has been incorrectly referred to as "winter blues."

SAD is a clinical diagnosis accepted in the medical community. Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal, Chief of Environmental Psychiatry Branch of the National Institute of Mental Health is the researcher credited with discovering SAD.

What are the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

daytime drowsiness
fatigue, or low energy level
decreased sex drive
diminished concentration
difficulty thinking clearly
tendency to overeat sweets and carbohydrates causing weight gain

Decreased sunlight is thought to be part of the cause of SAD, and is under clinical investigation. One treatment for SAD, which seems to improve the symptoms, is exposure to bright light, especially in the morning.

I just like that seasonal effective disorder is abbreviated "S.A.D." Like "Funtionaly Unqualified to Care Knowlegably for Extended Duration", often used to describe HMO's.

Holiday Suicide Myth
A higher rate of suicide during the holidays is a media myth.

By: Willow Lawson

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The idea that more people kill themselves around the winter holidays is a myth that the media have

little interest in correcting, according to a study from the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania. In an analysis of newspaper articles about suicide between Thanksgiving and Christmas in 1999, researchers found nearly half of them associated suicide with the winter holidays, despite receiving press releases warning journalists that such associations don’t seem to be warranted. Suicides drop during the winter months, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, and they usually peak during the spring months. Researchers caution that the flurry of articles on holiday suicides could actually inspire “copycat” suicides. Exposure to suicide methods may encourage vulnerable individuals to imitate them, the study warns.

So it's likely the coincidence of Thanksgiving-Yuletide-New Years with the Winter Solstice that causes the Winter Time Holiday Blues. You don't hear about an increase in suicide rates around Easter-July 4th, in other words.

Now, I would like to vent. For those of you who insist on insisting that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, I would like to point out that the early Christian church did not observe the Nativity for any reason, at any time of year. Period. They were Jewish at heart.

25 December marked the Saternalia observance, linked to the birth-death cycle of the pagan god Mythra. This date is also 4 days into the Winter Soltice or Yuletide of the Northern and Norse Europeans by the time Catholicism found its way into Viking lands, the Church had adopted the 25th of December as a Christianized Holy Day and merely absorbed more pagan, or heathen, trappings of Solstice observance as it forced its Helenistic gobbledy gook down the throats of perfectly nature-based "White" people.

So, Jesus is not only not the reason for the season, Santa Clause IS!

Prior to St. Nicholas, or St. Anybody for that matter, the Yuletide tradition held that the Viking god Odin/Wotan would go flying about visting homes and claiming the elderly and ill, for whom winter would only be a cause of suffering. He was more Kevorkian than Clause, really.

Merry Mary!

2008-10-07T15:12:00.000-07:00

2008-10-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

I "Bopped Along" the road, taking the time to appreciate the value of a gory knife fight in a small town like Dixie Mills. Entire Grandmothers leaped from their crossword puzzles as the combatants exchanged cross words. Mr. Peterman was just stoking his potbelly stove and remarking how he was thinking of putting in some sorgum come fall. The Lassiter Twins were having a peach of a time phoning in reports of stolen cars to police agencies around the country.

"I don't like bastards bopping along the road", some inebriated half-wit mused as I whistled nonchalantly with that, "I go mush you up", look I'm known for.

You know the rest: He got away on that horse and I got a horse on the way.

Authentic German Restaurant.

2008-10-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

Lisa and I met for Dinner at 3:49 because we were both off on a Tuesday and Schnitzel Haus was as Authentic as you get.

We were seated, as always, by the bathroom. There was a picture of an old Bravarian cheese shop underneath an embroidered sign that read "Sie riechen das Badezimmer".

And I dare your fat ass to have them recommend a wine.

The Ev Says, "Don't Do Drugs"

2008-09-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

WTF? Evitt smokes so much pot, the ZigZag Man
has a tattoo of Evitt on his arm!!!

This is from when I played Paintball at Opposing Forces Paintball out in Bravo Foxtrot, Texas, an hour's drive from Austin.

There was a D.A.R.E. group from neighboring Austin comprised of kids from 3 Integrated School Districts throughout Travis County and their respective Resource Officers.

Realizing I'd allowed my normally shaven head to develop something of a crewcut or a bad mullet really, given the one lock of hair I've left in back, down to my bum these days, I white-walled my temples leaving what looked like a "regulation high-and-tight" for a day of running around in camoflauge pants. The lack of earrings and Travis County Sheriff's D.A.R.E. shirt, a souviner of the occasion, was my "Fall to the Dark Side"

2008-09-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

McCain/Palin Court Penn. Snake-Handler Vote!

byline: Gregory B Geddings somewhere in

the Poconos...

With the upcoming election so tight the GOP has initiated an all-out battle to capture the

electoral vote in the crucial swing state of Pennsylvania. The Republicans have been targeting a

largely unregistered segment of voters in remote areas surrounding the Poconos located in the

northeastern section of the Keystone State. “Plannin' is underway”, says local GOP spokesman

Helmut Schmutzz (his friends cal him Earl), “for our candidates to make a stop-over at one of

our numerous snake-handling congregations to meet these fine folks and let them know that their

vote counts also, or 'too' if you prefer.“ At this point Mr. Schmutzz paused, dropped his pants,

squatted over an O'Bama/Biden poster lying on the ground and let go with what can only be

described as a Long, Greasy Movement of Converted Intestinal Matter in a large “X” pattern

over the front of the despised poster. “Ah, heck, I was a hopin' for enough to do a double X.

I saved that special for you! I heard you was a comin' so I figured you might want to get a

little local color for your story! Don't forget to spell my name with two Z's. Just let me squat here

for a few more seconds....” The humiliation of interviewing a man who was in the process of

doing a Numero Dos was beginning to set in and (not withstanding the fact that LBJ was known

to hold a daily wake-up meeting while all of his key, trusted advisers sat outside his open

bathroom door puzzling as to whether this grunt or that grunt could be an affirmative or a

negative) I hollered, still perched tenuously on the edge of my historical reverie, “I knew LBJ and

you, Sir, are No LBJ...!!!!!! My reverie popped like a Porcupine on a Tank Tread and I asked,

“Where did you get the O'Bama/Biden Poster?” He grimaced, took a deep breath and motioned for

me to yank his index finger, I obliged and he tooted from both orifices, “I think it came from

the yard of the gay guy who works at the library but I can't be for sure 'cause it was dark and I was

really drunk. All I remember was somebody hollerin' and moanin' and I started to run...only I fell

to the ground 'cause, for some reason, my pants were around my ankles.”

Mr. Schmutzz seemed to get visibly agitated as he raised his pants. He grabbed a Bible, held

it up and started to gyrate wildly. He screamed, a crowd gathered, and somebody whipped out a

tambourine. “Every vote counts and we're a countin' on you fine Snake-Handling Folks

to Come Out!---Come Out of Your Caves!---Come Out!---Come Out of Your Hidey-Holes!,

Come Out!---Come Out of Your Huckleberry Lean-Tos!---Come Out!--- If for No Other Reason

than to vote against BARRACK HOSSEIN O”BAMA!!! 'Cause Don't We Know It, Brothers

and Sisters,---Don't we know that them Dang Mooslims is WAY too Chicken-S**T to MESS WIF

NO SNAKES!!!!!!!!!!” Mr. Schmutzz fell to the ground, blubbering incoherently. Taken, it would

appear, by The Spirit or, at the very least, taken by A Spirit.

Rumors abound in this area including an unsubstantiated one that Carl Rove is involved

in the upcoming visit of the GOP ticket and is actively formulating plans to register

the snake folks, get them to vote absentee and, on election day, to transport bus loads of these

stalwart conservatives to African-American precincts throughout Pennsylvania's urban areas to act

as paid “Election Monitors”. No word yet on if they will be asked to carry

their Scaly Sacraments along.

The candidates are seen in the above picture rehearsing for their upcoming appearance in the

state-of-the art GOP Holographic Environmental Device also known as the SIMUL-A-TRON.

The snakes are real, but whacked out on Oxycontin.

2008-09-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

2008-09-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

2008-09-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

I careened through traffic as stealthy as a wounded elk, ignoring both the police sirens and the family of baby ducks that strolled languidly across the next intersection. I took aim and headed straight for the mother duck realizing that I had missed the I-135 exit to Greenville several hours ago and was about to orphan a generation of mounted trophies in full view of some backwater North Carolina shithole.

It was a good thing I knew how to say, "My brake pedal doesn't work in flawless" German, because I was not only Tazered when I crawled out of the capsized hulk of my smoldering car, I was taunted endlessly about my humiliation on the dunes of Normandy.

As backwater shit holes go, you can do worse than Ham Shelter, North Carolina located halfway between Ashville and a Sealy matress that fell off a Hertz truck.

"Deputy Tutwaller here says she clocked you doing the speed limit with hair as long as her sister's", Judge Joshua P. Bumkin yelled at me through a Duke Blue Devils bullhorn. He was livid, like how dare I hunt ducks with a car knowing perfectly well it was off-season. He buttered his Texas toast and lit into a mess of hash browns as I cursed God for letting me get stun-gunned in a town so small they had to bother the only judge in the county who could set my bail at breakfast.

They marvelled at it, talkin' 'bout how the magistrates in Charlotte now hold arraignments via remote conferencing and 'round these parts, that means getting hauled into a Waffle House at 2:34 AM for an Ad Hoc traffic court.

He just spewed sausage and toast crumbs at me, aided by that damnable basketball souvineer bull horn, as I hastily made my escape. Deputy Tutwaller was a high-strung tomboy of a gal, but she was no match for the way I'd walked out of the Waffle House ten minutes priviously, drizzling maple syrup from my hands, still cuffed behind my back.

My driver's liscense came in the mail last December with a Christmas card From Judge Bumpkin's Clerk of Court.

"We used to give Deputy Tutwaller shit about how that hippie snuck away from her in court. We used to give her shit about how she kept getting up and falling back down in that fuckin' syrup trying to make up for ten minutes of your hippie ass on the loose-"Crawl", I yelled. "Crawl!"-but then we had to fire her causa she's a lesbian and all."

We found your license cleaning out her locker.

Merry Cristmas,
God Bless,
And Get a Haircut!

Don't Fuck With my Psycho Southern Grandma

2008-07-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

Nobody had any right making this weeks feature film review. I had to sneak in to Art's House Theatre to see this horror. Thrown out time after time, I seem to recall the plot out of sequence, a cast of unlikely stars and the inside of a Campus Public Safety Ford LTD.

"Crash, bang, bam" my aching bones protested each blow, but Jessica Tandy renders a bewildering portrayal of a kind, Southern belle gone completely insane with the ravages of time and cast-iron plates.

"In the final scene in 'Driving Miss Daisy' ", Ms. Tandy begins, "I performed her first flight of dementia ranting about having to 'grade the childrens' papers' " and it seemed so fun to play a kind godly woman gone all stupid. To play a retard like this lunatic crone is an orgasm at my age!"

"And keep your ass out of Art's" a beefy UNV linebacker taunted as I dashed for the entrance.

James Earl Jones' opening scene in "Psycho Grandma" is as timelessly dignified as his rich Nigerian Baratone as he plays Mgmbe Opso, the insurgent coup leader hinding out in the Grandmother's tea room. In one scene, he uses a flamethrower to save a fine Hummel collection.

2008-07-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Perkins was fairly influential in the lives of many older country music singers taking something of a maternal interest in them, especially Hank Williams, but also many of the younger generation of female singers; she had seen many of the inequities in the treatment of women in business in general, and women in the country music industry in particular, firsthand. She was also a close friend of Tammy Wynett and George Jones

2008-07-15T21:09:00.001-07:00

Corporations boost profits at the expense of people's health and environment by using campaign contributions, aggressive lobbying, deceptive public relations and influence over global trade talks to write the rules that govern our economy and society to their advantage.

As corporations grow richer and more powerful than many countries, it becomes even more important to challenge the undue influence they use to weaken government policies that should protect people.

How We Work
Our campaign teams are engaged in advocacy, grassroots organizing, research and education as we work with an active membership and international alliances to put an end to irresponsible corporate behavior. In addition to our Campaign Headquarters in Boston, we have offices in Oakland, Seattle and Bogotá, Colombia.

2008-07-15T21:06:00.001-07:00

The U.S. incarceration system is in desperate need of reform. The statistics speak for themselves:

Over 7 million Americans are under some form of governmental supervision (jail, prison, parole, or probation). 2.3 million are held in jails or prisons.¹ 7.5% of the entire American adult population either is or has been incarcerated at some point. ²
The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world, at 726 individuals incarcerated per 100,000 people. The number of prisoners in the U.S. accounts for 25% of the entire global prisoner population. ³
The incarceration rate for white Americans is 470. For black Americans, it’s 2757.⁴ One in three black boys will eventually spend time in jail.⁵
One in five male inmates faces forced or pressured sexual contact. One in ten male inmates has been raped.⁶ In some facilities, one in four female inmates has been sexually assaulted. ⁷
The rate of recidivism in the United States is 67%—meaning that 67% of inmates released into the community will re-offend within a year. In urban centers, recidivism rates reach up to 78%.⁸ High recidivism rates lead to increased crime, violence, victimization, poverty, homelessness, family destabilization, and public health risks.⁹
75% of state prisoners do not have a high school education.¹⁰

2008-07-14T20:07:00.001-07:00

I'm Very Pleased to Announce the Print Version of This Powerful Blog

You may not know it, but the Ev takes great pleasure in looking his very best and being seen in only the tawniest Downtown Charleston digs. Whether I'm checking NYSE quotes on my iPhone or just grabbing a latte' and chatting some barista half my age, I smell like rich Corinthian leather.

And that's what Self-Agrandizing Cunt Bastard Magazine stands for.

What am I doing?

2008-06-23T18:55:00.002-07:00

I have NO IDEA what I'm doing:

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Ev105/435480

What am I doing?

2008-06-23T18:55:00.001-07:00

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Ev105/435480

That Jedi is one Bad Mutha...shut yo mouth!!!

2008-06-23T07:41:00.002-07:00

I KNEW they were gonna make this movie!!!!

Abuse

2008-06-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

"America's Office Workers are over-tasked and underpaid", a recent study suggests. Many offices only hire temps in temp-to-perm positions that never turn "perm". These temps will never draw benefits like health-care or 401Ks and will never attain profit-sharing or other motivations.

Hitch HIke

2008-06-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

So the band broke up and I've got to get back to Kansas City with my bass on my back and my last $210. I'm thumbin' up the road when a guy picks me up in a subcontractor's truck at like 8 in the morning talking breakfast!

I'm starved and he's all "You in a band, bo?" and he fires up a big roach in his ashtray and takes an exit right to fucking I.H.O.P.!

I don't know what Boysenberry is, but you shouldn't put it on your pancakes on a long road trip. This guy took me to within 49 miles of Kansas City, right, but What The FUCK???

If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' ...
www.quotedb.com/quotes/2653

Bacon!

2008-06-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ralph, you bastard, I'm out of all bacon!!!

Damn it to hell, man, I can't get enough of this fatty salty breakfast catastrophe!

I get this deal where ralph, shown here without a capitol "R"

Does my laundry and gets me Kenny Logins tickets. In turn, his wife and kids are housed and educated while I blow bubbles from my wrong new car:

I drive this fucking car to Hardee's every Monday. Hardee's is like a Carl Jr.'s

I'm a large man who, if wakened, must be fed breakfast in a matter of minutes or face certain retribution.
This will keep all who darken my door at sunrise from my wrath. My very Squirrelly WRATH! And I'm just getting started.

I had this really odd dream last night.

I'd gone to the family farm in Walterboro with my mother and everybody was laughing for no reason.

And I love steak!

Ralph gets me some'them country bones!!!

What's Happenin?

2008-06-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

The Happening, By M Knight Shyamalan,

Well, this was a bad idea. My nephew, late of the War on Terror, now installing cable TV, and I went to see M Knight Karma Carmel's first ever R-rated release. I wanted to smell dead people.

Whatcha get when go see the Happening is The Andromeda Strain meets The Core during a Screening of Deep Impact with no real payoff at the end just Markie Mark Wahlburg and Zooey what's her name Deschanel, the cute girl from Hitch Hiker's Guide, running for their lives as everybody around them commits suicide for no apparent reason.

Markie Mark, late of Funky Bunch fame, is a school teacher in New York whose ability to peer through binoculars may just save our heros, running with a little girl whose father has caught the suicide bug. In two eerily similar scenes a Philadelphia policeman and an Army MP commit suicide with their duty guns. Following which everybody else nearby takes a toot off Pistol Whiskey Peat's.

This movie is all build-up with no genuine plot. No conglomerate of military and scientists show up to fight the dreaded foe, nobody discovers the cure. Just one day, for 25 hours, people kill themselves for no apparent reason. Maybe a bad movie?!?!

Great Moments in Sport

2008-06-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

What can be said, our hometown boys made good, wining the State Finals in Soccer

In a sudden upset, Chester "Cheeks" Burns instilled in all of us a sense of pride we haven't felt since the heady days of Blinze Hanriech!

I'll Turn This Fucking Car Around so fast.

2008-06-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my tales of the road. Are we all situated?

Just great.

Half the time, I stare out into space and wonder what's out there. Are there other intelligent races out there? Are more advanced civilizations even now watching our progreLet's hit the road and find out. Hey, I've got my kids in the car, you loon!

2008-06-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

Two old friends meet on a city bus. Having not seen eachother for sometime, the reunion happened in stages, each regarding the other with that, "Hey! It's.....it's....nah!" game people play.

Finally, Olaf marches up to Constantine and Smartly doffs his frontal lobes and says, "Constantine!....You fat Bastard!"

Constantine, nonplused, scratched his hypothalamus for all of five seconds and burst into flames!

The agony was bearable for one of Constantine's subatomic species, owing the exposed hypothalamus. He screamed, "So, watcha been Doing?"

"Fixed up my granddad's old car, the duster".

"That thing must turn a lot of heads at car shows" , Constantine said, his succulent ribs steaming with flavor.

2008-06-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

June 11, 2008

KHOST, Afghanistan (AFP) - Four civilians and 17 Taliban were killed in an attack by US-led forces in eastern Afghanistan, officials said Wednesday, while dozens more rebel casualties were reported elsewhere.

Three women and a child were killed Tuesday when the US-led coalition targeted an insurgent hideout in Mata Khan district of Paktika province from the ground and the air, the force said in a statement.

The coalition said one of the women was killed after the troops called in war planes to target militants who were firing on the troops from inside and outside the compound.

"When coalition forces forcibly gained entry to the barricaded room, three Afghan women and one boy were wounded," it said, adding that the civilians later died from their injuries in a coalition medical facility.

The operation was launched against two "militant leaders," one of whom was involved in improvised bomb attacks on international troops while the other was facilitating "foreign fighter operations," the coalition said.

2008-06-11T19:02:00.001-07:00

In response to Birth of Anti Christ, Jesus Christ Returns and is Promptly Crucified Again, This Time by the Devil Baby's Favorite Programs.

2008-06-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

2008-06-10T10:51:00.001-07:00

I haven't been able to upload pictures to this damn thing for a week, what ever the problem was, it's over. Temp Internet Files or bad cookies or something. But that's pretty much Boba Fett down there and It loaded up properly.

Hi, Boba!

Boba Fett

2008-06-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

Origin of the Puddle Duck

2008-06-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

It is a little-known fact that while Charles Darwin was already an old man [he would die in 1882] he was contemporanious of Beatrix Potter.

Being only a girl of 12, and raised in a "proper" Victorian (Right-Wing Christian on steroids) home, it would be years before Beatrix pish-toshed the whole nonsense of Adam's Rib, The Flood, and the phonograph record being full of evil spirits.

Beatrix also, unbenounced to others, collaborated with the elder Darwin, Re-illustrating Origin of the Species hoping one day, freethinking kids would delight with whimsy in her tales, much as they "once" had with Baby Jesus and His Christmas with the barn animals.

My impression is, that the effect is extremely small in the case of animals, but perhaps rather more in that of plants. We may, at least, safely conclude that such influences cannot have produced the many striking and complex co-adaptations of structure between one organic being and another, which we see everywhere throughout nature.

We have as yet spoken only incidentally of the disappearance of species and of groups of species. On the theory of natural selection the extinction of old forms and the production of new and improved forms are intimately connected together.

Greatest Film Ever

2008-06-01T00:45:00.000-07:00

Oh, the bright lights of Hollywood, Tinseltown, where dreams become reality if only on the big screen.

From the days of Cecil B. Demille to the modern works of Tim Burton, movies thrill and inspire, captivate and entertain and, to the adulation of starstruck audiences everywhere,
They are often a chance to catch a glimpse of the Beautiful People.

What is it we admire about these denizens of the silver screen? Affluence? Thespian prowess?

The way we connect not so much to them, but to the characters they portray? Probably a little bit of all, truth be told. And if I had to single out one production, one movie that best epitomizes the magic and grandeur of Hollywood, you'd be hard-pressed to find a better fit than

BASKET CASE The hearworming tale of two brothers, a parasitic twin and a physically normal guy, who were determined to be a family despite the misgivings of a cold, clinical world.

The malignant lump that is Belial Bradley just can't catch a break. Living off a steady diet of hamburgers and human flesh, Belial lives in a wicker clothes hamper which his passably normal bro totes around on the bus and to boarding houses like an impractical satire of Yoda. The animation in this movie is about as hideous as it gets in a post-ILM/Lucasfilm world. I saw it in the same theater that I had seen "Return of the Jedi" at two years previously. Claymation and puppeteering have sunk to a new low as poor Belial slithers and goops out of his basket and onto the nude, sleeping form of his brother's latest sexual conquest. She awakens, natch, to find Gummy Boy in full rut. Oozing like the ejaculating disembodied head of Universal Film Studios, Belial reminds us that we're all god's children, if not twisted little tumor babies.

I ran into the guy that played Belial when I was living in Denver.

He gave me his autograph.

Friday Night. It Is a Hoot!

2008-05-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

Beer. It is a hoot.

From its earliest days, when man stumbled onto it making bread, beer has been the foundation of civilization, but not of civilized behaviour.

This complex Rube Goldburg device is needed to make the ale of hoot.
Look at the beer and cereal of these two revelers. A hoot. Keystone light and Fruit Loops.

And when it's time to hoot into the toilet, you can hear the porcelain echo. Use lots of water getting down all that hoot!

X X X Huge Mellons Redheads X X X

2008-05-29T10:52:00.001-07:00

How disappointing for you. I almost feel bad but I've gotta tell you, I don't get porn. Well, in my inbox I get mounds of it.

Ever since I was in highschool, my buddies would bring over dog-eared, forebodingly sticky periodicals of every perverse act imaginable.

Newsweek was so full of hot sticky Iran-Contra debachery that it even had a full-page photo of Lt. Col. Oliver North with his uniform off.

My friends also brought pornography by and I never saw the attraction.

And it wasn't because God was displeased, either. I could care less what your concept of a tyrannical deity likes or doesn't like; I'm a humanist. I see no more use for pornography than religion or hard drugs. I'm not advocating censorship, because somebody out there somewhere probably finds my collection of Evan Dorkin's Milk'n'Cheese to be offensive. I'm just saying that porn seems to be the playground of the unlaid and the repulsive and it degrades the already tenuous nature of the human race as a whole.

Look I'm not making the "Porn Degrades Women" argument because, unless some woman has been kidnapped, stripped and photographed against her will, she's making better bank on her back than I make upright. Hey, if you can cash a check for your exposed genitals rather than getting arrested like I would, puss it up for the lens girlfriend.

What I'm saying is that people's unhealthy obsession with voyeurism is matched only by other people's obsession with exhibitionism.

I have no intention of actively interfering with these two distinct groups from getting together to "Show you mine". That's their constitutional right in the US and is openly embraced in every other country in the world where somebody's concept of a tyrannical deity doesn't constitute public policy.

No, I will not join your moral crusade against what other people, regardless of how pathetic in my lame-ass opinion, choose to view on the internet or the privacy of their DVD player.

But I'm just venting my disdain for the fact that there is an entire industry dedicated to the over-exposure of what constitutes a largely private occurrence between two or more consenting adults, a goat and an industrial vat of lard.

If that's your thing, go for it...I'm just saying...WTF???

Live From New York, its...

2008-05-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

I would like to take this opportunity to defend one of American Satire's most important institutions. I was in the 4th grade when the original troupe of Not Yet Ready for Primetime Players was holding up liquor stores and stealing car stereos for peanut butter money.

I didn't know what a male prostitute was, but I introduced myself as Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute once and got sent to the principal's office at St. Andrew's Parish 1st Baptist School for it. Here, the stern-yet-grandfatherly old gentleman that futzed about our hallowed halls was beholden to explain to a 3rd grader what a prostitute was.

What grade did you learn that in?
I was far too young to understand "Bulges" but I would say to other male classmates, "These Foxes are admiring our amazing bulges thinking it had something to do with wallets, which maybe was more insightful than I realized at the time. Point was, I got sent to Headmaster Gavin's again for more birds and bees talk.

From there it became a love affair with insomnia. Whether it was watching Mr. Bill go pum into a wall or diggin' on Bill Murray's "Lounge Singer" schmaltz, I was hip to SNL before I was hip to what the fuck SNL was talking about.

So when I hear people say, "It used to be funny; I liked when Bill Murray and John Belushi was on" I get a bit annoyed.

Oh, shit yeah, SNL has had some absolutely shit seasons with absolutely shit cast members.

Can't really think of many Denitra Vance movies, you know. But you know what else? It's not 1978 anymore and I can't imagine Bill Hader doing Watergate jokes as Henry Kissinger. SNL was making fun of current issues as well as random silly and it's making fun of random silly shit now. The "Bill Murray and John Belushi" show wasn't riffing on D-day, and I don't recall Jane Curtain playing a vampy flapper dame in any skits, so quit bitching that you'd love to see Kristin Wiig parody Rosiland Carter:

Have you seen Bill Hader's Vincent Price skits? Fucked up Funny Good. You want old shit, be happy.

And Kristin Wiig is fucking hot by the way.

Extra Medication for All

2008-05-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

PillZe is back and Germaine is on the verge of giving him a Kevorkian Hug.

Please behold the wonders of this damaged squirrel of Neurotic Goodness, for sad is the world!

http://www.illwillpress.com/

This wasn't supposed to be funny...

2008-05-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of a hostage crisis, the hostage-takers' demands are often unreasonable. They might ask for huge sums of money or for the release of thousands of fellow terrorists from jails.
Ideally, a hostage situation ends with everyone walking away (albeit with some of them in handcuffs). In this article, we'll find out what happens on the scene of a hostage negotiation, how a negotiator gets the job done and what it takes to become a professional hostage negotiator. We will also take a look at the psychology of hostage-takers and hostages.

Beyond "Mormon"

2008-05-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Pa said there were too many people in the Big Woods now. Quite often Laura heard the ringing thud of an ax which was not Pa's ax, or the echo of a shot that did not come from his gun. The path that went by the little house had become a road. Almost every day Laura and Mary stopped their playing and stared in surprise at a wagon slowly creaking by on that road.

In the long winter evenings he talked to Ma about the Western country. In the West the land was level, and there were no trees. The grass grew thick and high. There the wild animals wandered and fed as though they were in a pasture that stretched much farther than a man could see, and there were no settlers. Only Indians lived there.

SAN ANGELO, Texas (CNN) -- The state of Texas should not have removed children from a polygamist sect's ranch because it didn't prove that they were in "imminent danger," an appeals court ruled Thursday.
Any child reared to believe that there is a large, bearded Man in the sky who designed the whole universe, but gets angry easily is in"imminent danger".

Factor in encouraging a man to marry multiple, uneducated "sister wives" who dress like pioneer womenfolk and who are perpetually pregnant and you've got a perfectly good reason to confiscate their offspring. If somebody has too many cats the Humane Society comes in and takes the cats while EMS wheels out their owner, prattling on a gurney about why the tin foil hats are important.
The photo above is that of an actual FLDS family. Any teenage girl of childbearing age is potentially one of the wives, not a daughter. And this is due to the fact that Joseph Smith stared into a hat at some gold plates an ascended being told him how to find in a dream.

If these kids were kittens, they'd have found them good homes.

My Alma Matar

2008-05-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

Academic Excellence
For more than 110 years students have been coming to Western Christian College to learn, grow, and lead. Our academic programs prepare you not only for graduate schools and careers, they are designed, in the liberal arts tradition, to develop critical thought.

WCC has been ranked among the top comprehensive colleges in the West by U.S. News and World Report.

Faith Commitment
At Western Christian College, education and faith are closely linked. We agree with the great thinkers

through the ages who contend that an education requires the exercise of faith and reason. Both are quests for truth, and each leads to the one Source of all Truth: God.

Ethical Leadership
Western Christian College is in the business of developing leaders with a set of core values, a moral compass,

and an ethical code - leaders informed, guided, and inspired by the Word of God. We are committed to building ethical leaders who make a difference.

All of us are called to be leaders by contributing our gifts and God-given abilities to improve the world.

Character development
Western Christian College prepares you for life's challenges and opportunities.

It expands your knowledge and skills and develops your gifts and talents. It builds character and values

while clarifying your sense of purpose and meaning. You grow in all capacities - body, mind, and spirit.

Caring Community
As a Christian institution of higher learning, we are committed to being a caring, welcoming community characterized by diversity, inclusiveness, respect for all people, and a passion for social justice.

Global Engagement

Important learning experiences extend beyond our campus. Through regional, national, and global missions trips

urban outreach and community service projects

and other service learning opportunities,

our students experience the joys and challenges of ministry, discipleship, missions and service to the community and to the world.

Some of the most life-changing moments occur when you see firsthand the needs of the world and do something about them.

Cash or charge?

2008-05-25T23:49:00.000-07:00

Oh, boy! I just squandered a week's pay on useless shit! Now, I'll have to eat a steady diet of Top Rammen for the next week, but I'll loose enough weight to fit into the latest train wreck by some gay Italian maniac who could care less what a women looks like.

In the mean time, half a world and several hundred calories away, these kids are sporting the latest in non-blood-covered fashion from off the aid truck.

Among today's "Fun Finds", 3 pints of blood in this kiddo's type. While some blond haired, blue eyed baby, who obviously can't be blamed for having idiot parents, is gracing the pages of "Style Baby", the leading source of news and info for pedophiles worldwide.

Socially Acceptable

one local mother says she was asked to stop breastfeeding her baby at McDonald's. Julie Kovacs said she was nursing her 6-month-old son at a McDonald's in Rostraver Township when an employee asked her to stop. The worker reportedly said other customers complained. "I was humiliated. I have four children and I have nursed all of them and this was the first time I've ever had anything like this to deal with. No one has ever approached me. I'm always discreet," Kovacs said. Breastfeeding support groups said Kovacs was discriminated against and her civil rights were violated. She said she is now seeking legal advice about the incident. McDonald's management called Kovacs Tuesday and apologized.

Welcome to Halliburton

2008-05-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

Education

Learning and development is an important part of the Halliburton culture.

We offer educational reimbursements to pay for or reimburse a portion of fees related to job-related workshops, off-site seminars, courses taken at accredited educational institutions and other programs targeted to improve your skills and performance, programs targeted to improve your skills and performance,

plus paid time off for study and exams.

Travel
Halliburton offers international opportunities that enable you to work and train in locations around the globe.

With a presence in approximately 70 countries, Halliburton offers many opportunities to work on interesting projects, collaborate with new people, experience new cultures and see the world.

Time off
With our generous flex day, holidays, leaves of absence and vacation opportunities,

you get the time you need to enjoy life outside of work.

Health and wellness
Halliburton offers a wellness program that promotes the health and well-being of our employees and their families

through the delivery of customized solutions to help lose weight, quit smoking and get in better shape.

myhalliburton.com

Hands Over my Heart....oh, it's my acid reflux!

2008-05-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Artist: Lee Greenwood

I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.

Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

Ephesians 4:12

2008-05-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers
For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Ephesians 4:12 (KJV)

Meet Paul and Jan Crouch. They're among God's Anointed at the helm of TBN, or Nambla.

Trinity Broadcasting Network is the redistributed funds of the failed PTL network. And by the looks of things, Jesus is right back where He started.

Jan Crouch has picked up the eyebrow pen where Tammy Faye left off sometime between leaving PTL and leaving the planet and by the looks of things, What Would Jesus Do has never been a better question. Girlfriend, if Jesus were here now, he'd tell you you look like a 10-dollar whore and then forgive you.

And don't think Heritage USA is completely forgotten. In hopes of bringing in some major tourism money, they moved it to Orlando, where they stage a twice-daily crucifixion wherein an actor playing Christ is stripped to a loincloth and, in keeping with their mission statement of providing wholesome family entertainment, nailed to a cross after being flogged for a few minutes. You'd think they'd give the people in the wheelchairs a better vantage point. That poor lady to His right is having to crane her already compromised spinal chord to touch the hem of His garment.

But I don't mean to alienate People Of Faith or nothin'.

Playtime

2008-05-25T19:04:00.000-07:00

One thing I couldn't get enough of was Mego Hero Action Figures. I had to keep all of these figures at my father's house because my mother didn't approve of any sort of violent toys.

If mom only knew. When I spent weekends at my dad's I learned to associate Saturday morning cartoons with my action figures and cereal that was made up of cleverly-colored sugar.

What was great was, I would make up these scenarios wherein Joker would end up on the Enterprise and Dr. Zeus would cut out his frontal lobe.

Bassist

2008-05-25T17:57:00.001-07:00

I've had essentially the same bass guitar since I was in the 10th grade.

Ever since Sting graced the pages of Guitar World (Back when bass guitar and bassists were lumped into the mainly guitar mag...I'm an old man, remember!) I wanted one of these sleek, black sticks.

I finally got one about a week before school started because my boss at my sweeeeet guitar shop job bought one off a drummer who'd gone through a passing bass fancy and had a lot of bonus money from being a Navy man.

You can say what you want about this being the bass guitar of the 80s, but looks aside, the thing makes perfect sense. The idea was to take the bass another step away from the lumbering bass fiddle of rock'n'roll's early years and move the concept forward a little. The Fender Precision took the jazzy, swinging slap bass fiddle and morphed it into essentially a four-string Stratocaster with a thyroid problem. The fact that the strings were the same lowest four strings of a guitar, tuned down another octave and made out of "piano wire" made it possible for guitarists to double on a fretted instrument that didn't have mice in it.

The Steinberger bass shaved the difference in neck length to that of a guitar with a head by removing the headstock and turning that end of the neck into the bridge. By putting the strap pegs on a boomerang shaped harness, centered at the instrument's gravity-zero-point, the weight is evenly distributed and it feels more like a lead guitar when you play it.

In case you had any questions

2008-05-25T17:36:00.001-07:00

Of course I do. Not all day. Not every day. But, yeahhhhhhhhh.

Folks, the reason a lot of people want to see this organic healing herb remain illegal in the US is that a lot of you Pro-Marijuana "activists" are not helping things.

Save it till the end of the day.

If you know you can't form a fucking sentence without stopping three times to laugh at "monkey pajamas" and then have to be reminded "what we were talking about", just wait 'till your home and done with all your shit.

I mean, Jesus, folks, when the single greatest point of your day is Aqua Teen Hunger Force and you live on a steady diet of Hot Pockets and Red Bull, you've got to reevaluate your...wait...what were we talking about...oh yeah, "Monkey Pajamas"!!!!!!!

2008-05-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

And just in case you're saying, "Ev, he's not religious". You're mistaken. I'm pleased to announce that I have accepted Ronnie James Dio as my personal Lord and Saviour.
I made this decision years ago when I was still a Tongue-Speaking Pentecostal. After Jimmy Swaggert got caught with a whore and PTL went tits-up, I realized Jesus hadn't done shit for either one of these ministries and that it was the gullibility of the Red State masses keeping them in Prime Rib and Lincoln Continentals. Dio had just left Black Sabbath and I was going around my christianist school listenting to Holy Diver and Mob Rules on my tape Walkman.

One day it dawned on me, Ronnie's never been busted with a dead whore full of bundles of cocaine and a trashcan full of disregarded "prayer requests" from the people who keep him prosperous. Fine Dio means God in Latin anway \m/etal up your ass, you pew-warming mongoloids!

The Second Amendment

2008-05-25T17:04:00.001-07:00

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

Still a Classic. Always a Classic...I get it!

2008-05-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

When I was in 8th grade, I bought a can of New Coke and eagerly took my first sip. "Meh", I thought.

Well, that "meh" was heard 'round the world and Coca Cola quickly reverted to the original formula, adding the equivalent of 3 lines of pure Peruvian flake to each can.

Somehow, this was less well-received than anticipated and the company was forced to return to the formula I was still growing up on.

The other day, I was taking a deep drink of this nectar of the American People and realized that it was still "Classic" Coke. This to distinguish itself from the ill-advised "New Coke" formula we drank for like two weeks in 1982

Why Religion Should Make Perfect Sense To Anybody

2008-05-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

My father is a devout Southern Baptist who takes the Bible literally in almost every way. Baptism is an act not to be performed upon a sinless baby, but on a child or teenager who has received Jesus Christ as his or her personal saviour.

To do this, you must believe wiff all your little heart and all your little mind that God loves you so much he became a sorta super human philosopher who never did anything but help people, resulting in his being horribly tortured to death. For You!

Letting the pastor give you a bath with all your clothes on just proves it.

My mother raised me in Jehovah's Witnesses because, of course, she takes the Bible literally in almost every way.

Jesus was not God the Son but a whole other fellow who was tortured to death using one less nail than the Baptists purport.

They will also give you a bath with all your clothes on, but if you don't let them, you won't go to Hell. You just won't get resurrected.

If this is all too much for you, we had two magazines that we would give you at no charge. We'd go door-to-door and interrupt whatever you were doing, but if you tried to shoo us off with a dollar, we'd refuse it. We want to take up your time! The Watchtower, far left, explains all about why God is displeased with everything and everybody and reminds us about the flood. Well, He's pissed again and the watchtower will warn you how to avoid his wrath this time.

The Awake, a companion publication, is about pandas mostly.

2008-05-25T15:35:00.001-07:00

Went to Big Lots today. Now, they normally sell retail over-runs and such, but today, I was walking through and I saw kiddie pools marked way down with a sign "packaging error". The boxes on the kiddie pools had ended up with a picture of happy children enjoying the wrong product! They depicted kids on those bouncy balls that have hobby horse and hippo heads with bicycle handles to hold onto, not splashing about in a big plastic pool. I'm tempted that such an item might be worth a fortune one day. Double-headed dimes or the upside-down-plane stamp come to mind.

Then it gets worse. Glass-blown swans under a sign "Factory Recall". A sign explains that the factory issued a recall, but on the wrong lot number first, so some perfectly safe glass-blown swans had to be shipped back out. But the each box for the glass swans, sitting between two lily pads, one of which has a butterfly on it, has a big rubber stamp "DESTROY".

2008-05-25T15:28:00.001-07:00

This Week in Literature...

Continuing where "Snapneck Diefellow, the Finger's Extremity" leaves off, Gaines Freshmont tries anew to beguile us with his use of sentences and a plot into believing that there is any hope for the hero of the series.

Wendy Walker has escaped her tormentors from The Believer's Union only to find herself alone in an unforgiving society under the iron fist of a totalitarian ad hoc committee with irony as its only law and where beef fajitas are given away if only you wear a triangle hat.

It's a rippin' good yarn for anybody bereft of an attention span and is likely to cost the reader several hours of lost time and missed bus stops.

If dipping your literary yeast roll into the gravy that is "Fresh!", sounds tempting, read "Fresh!", the story of one boy's determination to sing the part of Juliet in an all-boys' military school.

Game Over: the Lance Hunsacker Story.

For the first time since his dismissal from the NFL, Hunsacker talks about the steroids he doesn't take, even while ripping his kid's crayon art off of the refridgerator and cranking a round into his shot gun, and in the final bedside interview before they took him to surgery to get shotgun pellets out of him, he tells the author to take care of his pickle factory.

For any fan of the Hunsacker Gerkin, this book is a must-have.

In "Fatty: How I Quit Smoking", author Terry Hamilton recalls his struggle with Bi-poler disorder following surgery to remove part of his spleen. "They were going to amputate. I nearly had to shout this book", he writes about the menace of childhood diabetes.

I get off here:

2008-05-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

When I see the latest from the Evening News with Brian Williams or some other baritone talking head regarding the price of gas, I get even more warm and fuzzy about auto ads.

Even with prices at $132.19 a barrel, the manufacturers of these four-wheeled mechanical wonders are touting the 20-something club-goer and 40-something successful bidness tycoon's improved station in life, owing to the Trundler RX-5000 with the standard 90-speaker surround system, iPod ready and stow-and-go seating.

As long as we're driving up the price of oil we might as well enjoy it right?

I've used public transportation systems for years and in various cities. I turned in my Driver's License for a State-issued I.D. card in 2000 and was subsequently given the key to the city for having protected the lives of many of my fellow citizens. I can sympathize with people who live in largely rural areas and use their own car to get about, but don't miss driving. I did it in highschool first and back then, it was the shit. Had a little sports coupe my senior year and admittedly did alright with the ladies. Just not in the car. But now, I can't imagine how I would ever water and board one of these beasts. I had a guy ask me, "Ev, you're damn near 40, isn't it a bit pathetic to be riding the bus (he was a white guy, of course)" I replied. "Not near as pathetic as I would look shambling around in the belching husk of whatever '92 Piece of Shit I could afford at today's gas prices."

Big Fish

2008-05-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

I had to eat fast food against my will once. I got stuck because of a guitar student's mom who was tied up with one of her other Preciouses locked out of Scouts or something. Having not eaten in a while, and in lieu of digging around in my customer's fridge, like that one time, I had to go to Burger King. "Big Fish!" the words under a picture of the Burger King Big Fish seemed to say.

Well that goddamned Big Fish with Fries and a Tea obviously wanted me dead, because, as I sat annoyed with my student's mother not coming home with one kid cause of another, I suddenly wanted to blow warm fish bolus all over God's Green Earth.

This was over a year ago and no, Ev didn't file a major suit. I got my money back for the whole combo, since NONE of it stayed down.

It was actually kinda funny telling this large, matriarchial black woman, "Hey, I just graced your already fetid men's lavretory with a murder of fish bolus".

Welcome and get lost.

2008-05-24T09:55:00.003-07:00

Sorry, I meant to say, "Welcome and get lots ", but it just didn't work out that way.

I am a near-40 musician, music teacher, published author and wanted for questioning in a number of bizarre cattle mutilations

I think most people will agree that nobody deserves this. The Ev is a bi-polar creature given to fits of mischief and wanton injustice. One look at a transcript of my most recent mental health evaluation would give a seasoned combat veteran nightmares. That people leave me alone with their children, albeit in the "Piano Room", begs the question, "Are you out of your fucking minds?!"
.
When I'm not down in my basement with my beakers and a car battery, wringing my hands and talking to myself, I give guitar, electric bass and piano lessons to a cadre of the most unfortunate children to be born in this hemisphere.

I've won my victims away from guitar shops by offering Hour-long lessons instead of that watered-down 30-minute gunk they feed you at "Tater's Pickin' Parlour" and the lessons are in your very own living room.

Most of my clientele are high school kids who want to learn the latest "Nobody Understands Me" entitlement of NuMetal and I half expect to see that Dateline guy in the kitchen when I walk in to pick up the check, the term "Chord Fingering" lost in translation over email.

I've been working with remnants of two other bands who managed to break up only after coming into contact with me on bass guitar.

That's not all I can be blamed for.

Over the next few months, I will be reaching out over the vast wasteland that is the Too-Much-Information Superhighway with my own special blend of mindless indulgence