I've been having the Scammers On:

Gentleman:

First I must remark that only a firm of the highest stature could possibly hold offices on the grounds of the John Rylands University Library. Do you also lecture in Law Studies?



FULL NAMES: Troy Evitt
RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS: 411 Picket St.
POSTAL ADDRESS:Columbia, SC, 29154
EMAIL ADDRESS;zarathustra10@hotmail.com AND FAX NUMBERS:N/A
PHONE 843 991-5658
OCCUPATION:Agriculture Onion Boy Farms
PLACE OF BIRTH;
AGE;
CITIZENSHIP;
SCANNED COPY OF A VALID IDENTIFICATION.

IN YOUR RESPONSE TO THIS EMAIL TO ENABLE ME PREPARE THE DOCUMENTATIONS,AS SOON AS I AM DONE I WOULD SEND THE DOCUMENTS TO THE BANK AT ONCE, SO THAT YOU CAN CONTACT THE UK BANK AND GET THE FUNDS WHICH NOVEL FRANCES ANNE INTEND TO TRANSFER AND DEPOSIT IN YOUR ACCOUNT.

YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER YOURSELF A LUCKY INDIVIDUAL TO HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH THE NOVEL FAMILY.

YOU HAVE BEEN NOMINATED TO GET THIS FUNDS AS A RESULT OF THE FACT THAT SHE IS VERY SICK AND WISH TO FULFILL THE WILL AND WISHES OF HER LATE HUSBAND THE HONORABLE SIR NOVELL AND YOU COULD EFFECTIVELY GET THIS FUND THROUGH THE UK BANK WHERE THE FUNDS IS DEPOSITED WITHOUT MUCH DIFFICULTY DUE TO TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT WITH THE HELP OF ONLINE BANK TRANSFER.

I WILL WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU.

Ron Parker & Associates, London, UK
150 Deansgate,Manchester M3 3EH
UNITED KINGDOM.
Tel: +44 703 195 4726
+44 703 195 6842

Fax: +(44)870-471-3395

This German Company Needs New P.R.

And, if you read the whole thing, It Only Gets Worse!

For over 120 years the name FAG has been synonymous with high quality rolling bearings. In 1883, Friedrich Fischer designed a ball grinding machine in Schweinfurt, Germany. that, for the first time, made it possible to produce absolutely round steel balls by grinding.regarded as the This is one of the reasons why FAG has long been considered to be a pioneer in rolling bearing technology.

Company

[FAG Bearings Show]

The FAG brand started with an ingenious idea. In 1883, Friedrich Fischer designed a ball grinding machine in Schweinfurt, Germany that, for the first time, made it possible to produce absolutely round steel balls by grinding. This invention is regarded as the foundation for the entire rolling bearing industry.

This is one of the reasons why FAG has long been considered to be a pioneer in rolling bearing technology. Today, FAG is one of the leading brands for applications in machine building, the automotive industry and in aviation and aerospace technology. The Schaeffler Group's FAG brand has companies, subsidiaries and sales agencies in all major industrial countries.

Since 2001, FAG has been part of the Schaeffler Group and has been active in all of the group’s divisions – Aerospace, Automotive and Industrial. Together with INA’s complementary product range, FAG has one of the widest product portfolios in the rolling bearing industry, covering nearly all applications in production machinery, power transmission and rail technology, heavy industry and consumer products.

My Greeting.

A recent email exchange and a discussion with one of my younger, and more fetching I might add, gutiar/bass students (She's an adult, if only barely, you catch-a-predator fans) sparked a bit of Google "research". This student of mine is planning to go Ophelia on everybody and commit herself to MUSC's psych ward in beautiful Downtown Charleston for the holidays. A Sociology major, she's intrigued about the





While the media has grossly overshot the mark, claiming a non-existent increase in suicide rates over the holidays, there is one logical explanation, the kernal of truth if you will.

Mental Health

Seasonal Affective Disorder

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is mood disorder characterized by mental depression related to a certain season of the year - especially winter. Onset usually occurs during adulthood, and it is four times more likely to happen to women than men. Approximately 11 million people are diagnosed with this disorder, which has been incorrectly referred to as "winter blues."

SAD is a clinical diagnosis accepted in the medical community. Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal, Chief of Environmental Psychiatry Branch of the National Institute of Mental Health is the researcher credited with discovering SAD.

What are the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

• daytime drowsiness
• fatigue, or low energy level
• decreased sex drive
• diminished concentration
• difficulty thinking clearly
• tendency to overeat sweets and carbohydrates causing weight gain

Decreased sunlight is thought to be part of the cause of SAD, and is under clinical investigation. One treatment for SAD, which seems to improve the symptoms, is exposure to bright light, especially in the morning.

I just like that seasonal effective disorder is abbreviated "S.A.D." Like "Funtionaly Unqualified to Care Knowlegably for Extended Duration", often used to describe HMO's.

Holiday Suicide Myth
A higher rate of suicide during the holidays is a media myth.

By: Willow Lawson

Email Article Printer Friendly

The idea that more people kill themselves around the winter holidays is a myth that the media have

little interest in correcting, according to a study from the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania. In an analysis of newspaper articles about suicide between Thanksgiving and Christmas in 1999, researchers found nearly half of them associated suicide with the winter holidays, despite receiving press releases warning journalists that such associations don’t seem to be warranted. Suicides drop during the winter months, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, and they usually peak during the spring months. Researchers caution that the flurry of articles on holiday suicides could actually inspire “copycat” suicides. Exposure to suicide methods may encourage vulnerable individuals to imitate them, the study warns.

So it's likely the coincidence of Thanksgiving-Yuletide-New Years with the Winter Solstice that causes the Winter Time Holiday Blues. You don't hear about an increase in suicide rates around Easter-July 4th, in other words.

Now, I would like to vent. For those of you who insist on insisting that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, I would like to point out that the early Christian church did not observe the Nativity for any reason, at any time of year. Period. They were Jewish at heart.

25 December marked the Saternalia observance, linked to the birth-death cycle of the pagan god Mythra. This date is also 4 days into the Winter Soltice or Yuletide of the Northern and Norse Europeans by the time Catholicism found its way into Viking lands, the Church had adopted the 25th of December as a Christianized Holy Day and merely absorbed more pagan, or heathen, trappings of Solstice observance as it forced its Helenistic gobbledy gook down the throats of perfectly nature-based "White" people.

So, Jesus is not only not the reason for the season, Santa Clause IS!

Prior to St. Nicholas, or St. Anybody for that matter, the Yuletide tradition held that the Viking god Odin/Wotan would go flying about visting homes and claiming the elderly and ill, for whom winter would only be a cause of suffering. He was more Kevorkian than Clause, really.

Merry Mary!

I "Bopped Along" the road, taking the time to appreciate the value of a gory knife fight in a small town like Dixie Mills. Entire Grandmothers leaped from their crossword puzzles as the combatants exchanged cross words. Mr. Peterman was just stoking his potbelly stove and remarking how he was thinking of putting in some sorgum come fall. The Lassiter Twins were having a peach of a time phoning in reports of stolen cars to police agencies around the country.

"I don't like bastards bopping along the road", some inebriated half-wit mused as I whistled nonchalantly with that, "I go mush you up", look I'm known for.

You know the rest: He got away on that horse and I got a horse on the way.

Authentic German Restaurant.

Lisa and I met for Dinner at 3:49 because we were both off on a Tuesday and Schnitzel Haus was as Authentic as you get.


We were seated, as always, by the bathroom. There was a picture of an old Bravarian cheese shop underneath an embroidered sign that read "Sie riechen das Badezimmer".

And I dare your fat ass to have them recommend a wine.

The Ev Says, "Don't Do Drugs"

WTF? Evitt smokes so much pot, the ZigZag Man
has a tattoo of Evitt on his arm!!!

This is from when I played Paintball at Opposing Forces Paintball out in Bravo Foxtrot, Texas, an hour's drive from Austin.

There was a D.A.R.E. group from neighboring Austin comprised of kids from 3 Integrated School Districts throughout Travis County and their respective Resource Officers.

Realizing I'd allowed my normally shaven head to develop something of a crewcut or a bad mullet really, given the one lock of hair I've left in back, down to my bum these days, I white-walled my temples leaving what looked like a "regulation high-and-tight" for a day of running around in camoflauge pants. The lack of earrings and Travis County Sheriff's D.A.R.E. shirt, a souviner of the occasion, was my "Fall to the Dark Side"

McCain/Palin Court Penn. Snake-Handler Vote!

byline: Gregory B Geddings somewhere in

the Poconos...

With the upcoming election so tight the GOP has initiated an all-out battle to capture the

electoral vote in the crucial swing state of Pennsylvania. The Republicans have been targeting a

largely unregistered segment of voters in remote areas surrounding the Poconos located in the

northeastern section of the Keystone State. “Plannin' is underway”, says local GOP spokesman

Helmut Schmutzz (his friends cal him Earl), “for our candidates to make a stop-over at one of

our numerous snake-handling congregations to meet these fine folks and let them know that their

vote counts also, or 'too' if you prefer.“ At this point Mr. Schmutzz paused, dropped his pants,

squatted over an O'Bama/Biden poster lying on the ground and let go with what can only be

described as a Long, Greasy Movement of Converted Intestinal Matter in a large “X” pattern

over the front of the despised poster. “Ah, heck, I was a hopin' for enough to do a double X.

I saved that special for you! I heard you was a comin' so I figured you might want to get a

little local color for your story! Don't forget to spell my name with two Z's. Just let me squat here

for a few more seconds....” The humiliation of interviewing a man who was in the process of

doing a Numero Dos was beginning to set in and (not withstanding the fact that LBJ was known

to hold a daily wake-up meeting while all of his key, trusted advisers sat outside his open

bathroom door puzzling as to whether this grunt or that grunt could be an affirmative or a

negative) I hollered, still perched tenuously on the edge of my historical reverie, “I knew LBJ and

you, Sir, are No LBJ...!!!!!! My reverie popped like a Porcupine on a Tank Tread and I asked,

“Where did you get the O'Bama/Biden Poster?” He grimaced, took a deep breath and motioned for

me to yank his index finger, I obliged and he tooted from both orifices, “I think it came from

the yard of the gay guy who works at the library but I can't be for sure 'cause it was dark and I was

really drunk. All I remember was somebody hollerin' and moanin' and I started to run...only I fell

to the ground 'cause, for some reason, my pants were around my ankles.”

Mr. Schmutzz seemed to get visibly agitated as he raised his pants. He grabbed a Bible, held

it up and started to gyrate wildly. He screamed, a crowd gathered, and somebody whipped out a

tambourine. “Every vote counts and we're a countin' on you fine Snake-Handling Folks

to Come Out!---Come Out of Your Caves!---Come Out!---Come Out of Your Hidey-Holes!,

Come Out!---Come Out of Your Huckleberry Lean-Tos!---Come Out!--- If for No Other Reason

than to vote against BARRACK HOSSEIN O”BAMA!!! 'Cause Don't We Know It, Brothers

and Sisters,---Don't we know that them Dang Mooslims is WAY too Chicken-S**T to MESS WIF

NO SNAKES!!!!!!!!!!” Mr. Schmutzz fell to the ground, blubbering incoherently. Taken, it would

appear, by The Spirit or, at the very least, taken by A Spirit.

Rumors abound in this area including an unsubstantiated one that Carl Rove is involved

in the upcoming visit of the GOP ticket and is actively formulating plans to register

the snake folks, get them to vote absentee and, on election day, to transport bus loads of these

stalwart conservatives to African-American precincts throughout Pennsylvania's urban areas to act

as paid “Election Monitors”. No word yet on if they will be asked to carry

their Scaly Sacraments along.

The candidates are seen in the above picture rehearsing for their upcoming appearance in the

state-of-the art GOP Holographic Environmental Device also known as the SIMUL-A-TRON.

The snakes are real, but whacked out on Oxycontin.

I careened through traffic as stealthy as a wounded elk, ignoring both the police sirens and the family of baby ducks that strolled languidly across the next intersection. I took aim and headed straight for the mother duck realizing that I had missed the I-135 exit to Greenville several hours ago and was about to orphan a generation of mounted trophies in full view of some backwater North Carolina shithole.

It was a good thing I knew how to say, "My brake pedal doesn't work in flawless" German, because I was not only Tazered when I crawled out of the capsized hulk of my smoldering car, I was taunted endlessly about my humiliation on the dunes of Normandy.

As backwater shit holes go, you can do worse than Ham Shelter, North Carolina located halfway between Ashville and a Sealy matress that fell off a Hertz truck.

"Deputy Tutwaller here says she clocked you doing the speed limit with hair as long as her sister's", Judge Joshua P. Bumkin yelled at me through a Duke Blue Devils bullhorn. He was livid, like how dare I hunt ducks with a car knowing perfectly well it was off-season. He buttered his Texas toast and lit into a mess of hash browns as I cursed God for letting me get stun-gunned in a town so small they had to bother the only judge in the county who could set my bail at breakfast.

They marvelled at it, talkin' 'bout how the magistrates in Charlotte now hold arraignments via remote conferencing and 'round these parts, that means getting hauled into a Waffle House at 2:34 AM for an Ad Hoc traffic court.

He just spewed sausage and toast crumbs at me, aided by that damnable basketball souvineer bull horn, as I hastily made my escape. Deputy Tutwaller was a high-strung tomboy of a gal, but she was no match for the way I'd walked out of the Waffle House ten minutes priviously, drizzling maple syrup from my hands, still cuffed behind my back.

My driver's liscense came in the mail last December with a Christmas card From Judge Bumpkin's Clerk of Court.

"We used to give Deputy Tutwaller shit about how that hippie snuck away from her in court. We used to give her shit about how she kept getting up and falling back down in that fuckin' syrup trying to make up for ten minutes of your hippie ass on the loose-"Crawl", I yelled. "Crawl!"-but then we had to fire her causa she's a lesbian and all."

We found your license cleaning out her locker.

Merry Cristmas,
God Bless,
And Get a Haircut!

Don't Fuck With my Psycho Southern Grandma

Nobody had any right making this weeks feature film review. I had to sneak in to Art's House Theatre to see this horror. Thrown out time after time, I seem to recall the plot out of sequence, a cast of unlikely stars and the inside of a Campus Public Safety Ford LTD.

"Crash, bang, bam" my aching bones protested each blow, but Jessica Tandy renders a bewildering portrayal of a kind, Southern belle gone completely insane with the ravages of time and cast-iron plates.

"In the final scene in 'Driving Miss Daisy' ", Ms. Tandy begins, "I performed her first flight of dementia ranting about having to 'grade the childrens' papers' " and it seemed so fun to play a kind godly woman gone all stupid. To play a retard like this lunatic crone is an orgasm at my age!"

"And keep your ass out of Art's" a beefy UNV linebacker taunted as I dashed for the entrance.

James Earl Jones' opening scene in "Psycho Grandma" is as timelessly dignified as his rich Nigerian Baratone as he plays Mgmbe Opso, the insurgent coup leader hinding out in the Grandmother's tea room. In one scene, he uses a flamethrower to save a fine Hummel collection.

Mrs. Perkins was fairly influential in the lives of many older country music singers taking something of a maternal interest in them, especially Hank Williams, but also many of the younger generation of female singers; she had seen many of the inequities in the treatment of women in business in general, and women in the country music industry in particular, firsthand. She was also a close friend of Tammy Wynett and George Jones

Corporations boost profits at the expense of people's health and environment by using campaign contributions, aggressive lobbying, deceptive public relations and influence over global trade talks to write the rules that govern our economy and society to their advantage.

As corporations grow richer and more powerful than many countries, it becomes even more important to challenge the undue influence they use to weaken government policies that should protect people.

How We Work
Our campaign teams are engaged in advocacy, grassroots organizing, research and education as we work with an active membership and international alliances to put an end to irresponsible corporate behavior. In addition to our Campaign Headquarters in Boston, we have offices in Oakland, Seattle and Bogotá, Colombia.

The U.S. incarceration system is in desperate need of reform. The statistics speak for themselves:

• Over 7 million Americans are under some form of governmental supervision (jail, prison, parole, or probation). 2.3 million are held in jails or prisons.¹ 7.5% of the entire American adult population either is or has been incarcerated at some point. ²
  
  
• The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world, at 726 individuals incarcerated per 100,000 people. The number of prisoners in the U.S. accounts for 25% of the entire global prisoner population. ³
  
  
• The incarceration rate for white Americans is 470. For black Americans, it’s 2757.⁴ One in three black boys will eventually spend time in jail.⁵
  
  
• One in five male inmates faces forced or pressured sexual contact. One in ten male inmates has been raped.⁶ In some facilities, one in four female inmates has been sexually assaulted. ⁷
  
  
• The rate of recidivism in the United States is 67%—meaning that 67% of inmates released into the community will re-offend within a year. In urban centers, recidivism rates reach up to 78%.⁸ High recidivism rates lead to increased crime, violence, victimization, poverty, homelessness, family destabilization, and public health risks.⁹
  
  
• 75% of state prisoners do not have a high school education.¹⁰

I'm Very Pleased to Announce the Print Version of This Powerful Blog


You may not know it, but the Ev takes great pleasure in looking his very best and being seen in only the tawniest Downtown Charleston digs. Whether I'm checking NYSE quotes on my iPhone or just grabbing a latte' and chatting some barista half my age, I smell like rich Corinthian leather.

And that's what Self-Agrandizing Cunt Bastard Magazine stands for.

What am I doing?

I have NO IDEA what I'm doing:


http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Ev105/435480

What am I doing?

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Ev105/435480

That Jedi is one Bad Mutha...shut yo mouth!!!

I KNEW they were gonna make this movie!!!!

Abuse

"America's Office Workers are over-tasked and underpaid", a recent study suggests. Many offices only hire temps in temp-to-perm positions that never turn "perm". These temps will never draw benefits like health-care or 401Ks and will never attain profit-sharing or other motivations.

Hitch HIke

So the band broke up and I've got to get back to Kansas City with my bass on my back and my last $210. I'm thumbin' up the road when a guy picks me up in a subcontractor's truck at like 8 in the morning talking breakfast!

I'm starved and he's all "You in a band, bo?" and he fires up a big roach in his ashtray and takes an exit right to fucking I.H.O.P.!












I don't know what Boysenberry is, but you shouldn't put it on your pancakes on a long road trip. This guy took me to within 49 miles of Kansas City, right, but What The FUCK???

If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' ...
www.quotedb.com/quotes/2653

Bacon!

Ralph, you bastard, I'm out of all bacon!!!
















Damn it to hell, man, I can't get enough of this fatty salty breakfast catastrophe!

I get this deal where ralph, shown here without a capitol "R"










Does my laundry and gets me Kenny Logins tickets. In turn, his wife and kids are housed and educated while I blow bubbles from my wrong new car:










I drive this fucking car to Hardee's every Monday. Hardee's is like a Carl Jr.'s

I'm a large man who, if wakened, must be fed breakfast in a matter of minutes or face certain retribution.
This will keep all who darken my door at sunrise from my wrath. My very Squirrelly WRATH! And I'm just getting started.


I had this really odd dream last night.


I'd gone to the family farm in Walterboro with my mother and everybody was laughing for no reason.









And I love steak!









Ralph gets me some'them country bones!!!

What's Happenin?

The Happening, By M Knight Shyamalan,

Well, this was a bad idea. My nephew, late of the War on Terror, now installing cable TV, and I went to see M Knight Karma Carmel's first ever R-rated release. I wanted to smell dead people.

Whatcha get when go see the Happening is The Andromeda Strain meets The Core during a Screening of Deep Impact with no real payoff at the end just Markie Mark Wahlburg and Zooey what's her name Deschanel, the cute girl from Hitch Hiker's Guide, running for their lives as everybody around them commits suicide for no apparent reason.

Markie Mark, late of Funky Bunch fame, is a school teacher in New York whose ability to peer through binoculars may just save our heros, running with a little girl whose father has caught the suicide bug. In two eerily similar scenes a Philadelphia policeman and an Army MP commit suicide with their duty guns. Following which everybody else nearby takes a toot off Pistol Whiskey Peat's.

This movie is all build-up with no genuine plot. No conglomerate of military and scientists show up to fight the dreaded foe, nobody discovers the cure. Just one day, for 25 hours, people kill themselves for no apparent reason. Maybe a bad movie?!?!

Great Moments in Sport

What can be said, our hometown boys made good, wining the State Finals in Soccer

In a sudden upset, Chester "Cheeks" Burns instilled in all of us a sense of pride we haven't felt since the heady days of Blinze Hanriech!

I'll Turn This Fucking Car Around so fast.

Welcome to my tales of the road. Are we all situated?

Just great.

Half the time, I stare out into space and wonder what's out there. Are there other intelligent races out there? Are more advanced civilizations even now watching our progreLet's hit the road and find out. Hey, I've got my kids in the car, you loon!

Two old friends meet on a city bus. Having not seen eachother for sometime, the reunion happened in stages, each regarding the other with that, "Hey! It's.....it's....nah!" game people play.

Finally, Olaf marches up to Constantine and Smartly doffs his frontal lobes and says, "Constantine!....You fat Bastard!"

Constantine, nonplused, scratched his hypothalamus for all of five seconds and burst into flames!

The agony was bearable for one of Constantine's subatomic species, owing the exposed hypothalamus. He screamed, "So, watcha been Doing?"

"Fixed up my granddad's old car, the duster".

"That thing must turn a lot of heads at car shows" , Constantine said, his succulent ribs steaming with flavor.