Live From New York, its...

I would like to take this opportunity to defend one of American Satire's most important institutions. I was in the 4th grade when the original troupe of Not Yet Ready for Primetime Players was holding up liquor stores and stealing car stereos for peanut butter money.

I didn't know what a male prostitute was, but I introduced myself as Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute once and got sent to the principal's office at St. Andrew's Parish 1st Baptist School for it. Here, the stern-yet-grandfatherly old gentleman that futzed about our hallowed halls was beholden to explain to a 3rd grader what a prostitute was.

What grade did you learn that in?
I was far too young to understand "Bulges" but I would say to other male classmates, "These Foxes are admiring our amazing bulges thinking it had something to do with wallets, which maybe was more insightful than I realized at the time. Point was, I got sent to Headmaster Gavin's again for more birds and bees talk.


From there it became a love affair with insomnia. Whether it was watching Mr. Bill go pum into a wall or diggin' on Bill Murray's "Lounge Singer" schmaltz, I was hip to SNL before I was hip to what the fuck SNL was talking about.


So when I hear people say, "It used to be funny; I liked when Bill Murray and John Belushi was on" I get a bit annoyed.

Oh, shit yeah, SNL has had some absolutely shit seasons with absolutely shit cast members.

Can't really think of many Denitra Vance movies, you know. But you know what else? It's not 1978 anymore and I can't imagine Bill Hader doing Watergate jokes as Henry Kissinger. SNL was making fun of current issues as well as random silly and it's making fun of random silly shit now. The "Bill Murray and John Belushi" show wasn't riffing on D-day, and I don't recall Jane Curtain playing a vampy flapper dame in any skits, so quit bitching that you'd love to see Kristin Wiig parody Rosiland Carter:




Have you seen Bill Hader's Vincent Price skits? Fucked up Funny Good. You want old shit, be happy.













And Kristin Wiig is fucking hot by the way.