Why Religion Should Make Perfect Sense To Anybody

My father is a devout Southern Baptist who takes the Bible literally in almost every way. Baptism is an act not to be performed upon a sinless baby, but on a child or teenager who has received Jesus Christ as his or her personal saviour.

To do this, you must believe wiff all your little heart and all your little mind that God loves you so much he became a sorta super human philosopher who never did anything but help people, resulting in his being horribly tortured to death. For You!

Letting the pastor give you a bath with all your clothes on just proves it.










My mother raised me in Jehovah's Witnesses because, of course, she takes the Bible literally in almost every way.

Jesus was not God the Son but a whole other fellow who was tortured to death using one less nail than the Baptists purport.

They will also give you a bath with all your clothes on, but if you don't let them, you won't go to Hell. You just won't get resurrected.






If this is all too much for you, we had two magazines that we would give you at no charge. We'd go door-to-door and interrupt whatever you were doing, but if you tried to shoo us off with a dollar, we'd refuse it. We want to take up your time! The Watchtower, far left, explains all about why God is displeased with everything and everybody and reminds us about the flood. Well, He's pissed again and the watchtower will warn you how to avoid his wrath this time.

The Awake, a companion publication, is about pandas mostly.